This is where i open up for what and who i really am, and how i really feel. And if you just come here, to shame me for being honest about myself n' shit.. Kindly leave, and i don't mean for any of this to get too personal or too depressing; But, i...
I do have an older sister, shes cool i guess. I mean, i dont like her that much if i have to be honest with myself. I honestly hate her more than anything, and thats saying something. And i belive some of the things she tells me calling me 'the next hitler' and 'a complete sosiopath' i come to belive those at this point in time. And i can see where shes coming up with these ideas. And i'm so torn. Tell my parents that she smokes weed behind their backs when shes with her friends..? or continue to try and hold that semi-good relationship, it'll fall eventually i cant grasp onto it forever.. But sometimes i just hate her desisions and how stupid it is. And honestly i can see myself probably using some form of drugs, either for medical purposes or just.. i dont really know. But if i had to be honest with myself i'd bet i do no matter how many D.A.R.E sessions i go to (< Forced to go to..) Its just the constant fear of group desisons to be 'that guy' that nodody likes, So i wonder to myself. Why do i even have 'Friends' or 'Comrads' or anyone honestly. In reality behind my screen i act like such a push over, a complete bitch to people. Sometimes in a comcial way, somtimes just as a bitch. I dont know where i'm going with this anymore. I ramble alot. Another one of my many problems that make me, me i guess.
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