Seeping Wounds

VIII-Addison

"It was so sweet!" Mia practically screams.

I laugh and hold the phone away from my ear.

"Calm down already!" I say laughing, "Do you want me to go deaf?"

"Sorry." Mia says quickly. Too quickly to actually be sorry. Oh well, this is the friendship we have and I wouldn't change it for the world.

"Did he pay for your dinner?" I ask.

Mia snorts, "He tried too, but I insisted on paying half. I didn't want to hurt his manly pride but it didn't seem right to let him pay for everything." She explains.

I roll my eyes, "Manly pride. He'll have to get rid of that if he's dating you."

This causes Mia to laugh, "I guess he will. Eric may be the guy but this isn't the eighteen hundreds, I should pay half."

"Right." I agree.

There is a moment of silence and then Mia says, "I think it's sweet that he wanted to pay, even though I wouldn't let him pay for all of it. It's still nice that he offered. Guys don't tend to do that anymore."

I laugh, "Then you had better keep Eric, doesn't sound like you'll be able to replace him."

"How was work the other night? When you and Harrison were there together?" Mia asks.

I don't know what to tell her. I don't dislike Harrison, but I don't particularly like him either. He's like a loose cannon. I can never tell how he will react and that makes me nervous but there is nothing bad about Harrison. He has just had a hard life and doesn't know how to trust anyone.

"It was fine." I tell Mia finally.

"He wasn't rude was he?"

I laugh, "No. Harrison just has a lot of pent up anger that he doesn't know how to get rid of." I tell her.

Mia doesn't say anything.

"Don't blame him Mia, he doesn't know how to trust. No one has ever taught him that love is a good thing. He looks at his parents and bases relationships off what he learned from them." I say quietly.

"I don't blame him exactly, I just wish he made it easier to be nicer to him." Mia sighs, "I don't know how you are always so calm with him."

Now it's my turn to be silent.

"Addison?" Mia asks, "You still there?"

"Yeah." I say, "Yeah, sorry."

"Are you okay?"

"Of course." I say.

Mia isn't satisfied, "You can tell me. We've always told each other everything, we know how to keep secrets."

"I kind of see Harrison as a version of myself." I blurt out.

Silence.

"What?" Mia sounds shocked.

Taking a deep breath I try to explain, "The way Harrison behaves is kind of the way I feel sometimes. Like he's what I would be like if I hadn't chosen to let go of the anger. Sometimes I get so angry or frustrated that I just want to punch something, and the fact that I can't makes me even angrier. I don't have the option of letting my anger out the way Harrison does. Does any of that make sense?"

"I sort of does." Mia says.

"Mia I have to tell you something." I say. I still haven't told her what Dr. Shantz said. I have to tell her. Mia is my best friend, I can't keep this from her.

"Is something wrong?" Mia asks, sounding worried again.

I sigh, "Sort of. You know when I went to the doctors the other week?"