Seeping Wounds

XXI-Harrison

Kayla is sitting with her back pressed against the wall. Her head in her hands. Her entire body is shaking. Ragged breaths tear their way out of her chest.

I kneel beside her, rubbing her back. I don't know what to do.

"Take a deep breath." I tell her, "You're safe here."

"Stand back Harrison." Someone says behind me.

Spinning around I see a whole band of nurses standing there. They stand there, waiting for me to move. Should I? What are they going to do?

"What are you going to do?" I ask them. 

A woman takes a step forward, "We have to sedate her Harrison, it will help her." 

I don't trust her, I don't trust any of them. They aren't here to help Kayla, they want to shut her up. They want to be rid of us.

"No." I say, "You can't drug her, you can't. There has to be something else you can do, you guys are supposed to be helping us."

Whatever the the government says this place is not a rehabilitation facility. This is a prison, they sent me hear instead of prison but it is literally the same thing. Kayla is here because her parents decided she was too much work. I'm starting to wish they had just sent me to prison. 

My therapist isn't too bad but all the other staff members hate us.

"Move aside Harrison." The woman says, her voice hard. I hate her. I hate her. How could she even fathom what Kayla or I are feeling? 

But this is what happens. There is no point to life, none at all. No one gets control over their life. Not me, not Kayla, not Sydney, not Addison.

I feel no hatred, just despair. There is nothing I can do to change anything about my life. People are just born the way their lives are meant to be. I was dealt a shitty hand of cards and that will never change. Mia got dealt a wonderful hand of cards and she has had nothing but good luck.

Why does it have to work this way? Doesn't Kayla deserve to be as happy as Mia?

Two of the larger nurses grab me and yank me away from Kayla, they drag me down the hall away from my friend. I can see her huddled against the wall as the sadness attacks her.

That's when it hits me. They have given up on Kayla.

I don't know how long it has been since she got here but they have definitely given up on her. Does Kayla even speak to an actual therapist anymore? Or do they just sit any random person down and have them pretend to be someone who wants to help her? 

How long was it before they decided Kayla wouldn't get better? Will they decide after a while that I am beyond help too?

What is this place? Is it legal?

What are they doing to Kayla?

Does my therapist know what they are doing? She seems to want to help me or is that just an act? Does she know what they're doing to Kayla?

Maybe I should tell her.

Dear Claire,

I am sorry I haven't written before now but I don't know who else to go to. First I have to apologize. I am so sorry for everything I have ever done. I am sorry that I am not the child you deserve to have. You are a great parent and could have made some kid very happy. I hate that you got stuck with a terrible child like me. I know you said that you and Derek chose me but sometimes I just can't believe that you did. Why would you choose me? You could have chosen any of those kids but instead you chose me.