Typical.

Chapter 6: Changed

I’ll say, I was only moderately embarrassed when Liam didn’t want to kiss me in front of everyone to stir some ruckus. So Liam. So reserved and so responsible. He made me see how dumb that question really was.

What was his answer, again? Oh, right. “Evie, I don’t want to stir anything more.”

A.K.A “Evie I don’t want to be seen kissing you in public.”

Whatever. I didn’t give a damn, I mean, he was just my friend, right?

And I was pretty shaken by the way people had acted. I mean, the flashing cameras outside the club was one thing, getting mobbed by fans was quite another. Someone tried to pull Liam’s ear off and yank my hair out of my head. People screamed things that bothered me and they had practically tried to rip my hand out of Liam’s. His iron grip held my hand so firmly that my fingers turned purple.

Liam obviously noticed me anxiously playing with my thumbs and glaring out the window.

“Evie, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. I know you and you’re not okay.”

“Fine, maybe that scared me a little. It was too much. Too much…” I trailed off, running a hand through my hair, every once in a while checking the rearview mirror to check if anyone followed us. They came running after us for a few blocks, but once we got onto a main road, they couldn’t keep up.

I felt his hand grab take mine from my lap and hold it. “I’m sorry,” he said. “For everything.”

I still didn’t look at him because in that moment, he wasn’t Liam. In that moment, he was larger than life, everything was real and he wasn’t there to be my friend or to be with me or anything that I selfishly desired. He wasn’t the little kid I knew. He wasn’t mine. In that moment, he belonged to everyone else. He wasn’t mine. He wasn’t even his. He was the product of society and forced to cope with it. He had, like all creatures, adapted to his environment. He was the one who would survive. He was a survivor. He, as told by Darwin, changed over time, evolved, to be not a person, but an idea. The idea of Liam Payne was enough for everyone. That idea wasn’t enough for me. I didn’t want the idea of Liam. I didn’t want to have the idea of a friend or the picture of one. I needed him to be with me and it hit me like a ton of bricks in that moment.

I had to stop clinging to the memory of our friendship.

It wasn’t the same and it would never be the same. It was evident in that very moment that he’d entered into a world of fantasy where relationships were outwardly amplified but inwardly minuscule and virtually unreal or impossible. I could never just hang out with him anymore. Because while we were at The London Eye, the world’s eye was on us. We weren’t two kids anymore. He was larger than life and I was the cruel villain supposedly ripping him away from everyone else who was in love with the idea of Liam Payne.

And with that suddenly crushing down on me, tearing my heart apart, I didn’t notice I was crying. I was petrified. I was lonely. I was completely, utterly alone. Liam didn’t say anything, just kept my hand in his and stayed on the road. I don’t think he noticed I was crying. My hair fell over my face as I leaned my head against the window, hiding from him. I didn’t want him to see me crying. He just stroked my hand with his thumb and tried to spread warmth and comfort and relaxation throughout my body but it was practically unachievable. Until he stopped being an idea or a picture in a magazine, I would be alone.

We rolled to a stop in the parking lot and that’s when he looked over at me. I refused to let him see me, so I yanked my hand out of his and forced my way out of the car. In the empty parking garage, I heard his feet behind me and felt his hand grab my arm.