Typical.

Chapter 14: Fears in the Open

(Note: Hey guys! i just want to thank EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!!! I'M ABSOLUTELY IN AWE OF WHAT ALL OF YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME!!!!

as you all know, i didn't know what to do, i had writer's block, i didn't know if i should have continued the story or not... but all the wonderfully kind things you commented, all the things you messaged me about... they really helped me get through it and get some motivation back.

SO THANK YOU ALL!!!!! <3 <3

I'm really sorry this update is so short. it's also unedited. i was just so excited to get back into it, i didn't want to wait to update. So i love you all! Enjoy! <3 <3 <3)

I heard her giggle against my chest. “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be, Ev,” I said, rubbing her back. “Did it ever occur to you that I came back for you?”

She pulled away from the embrace. “What?”

“Why would I be here if it wasn’t for you?”

Her brows knit together. “What?”

“I made up some dumb shit to come back, but the real reason I came back was to see you. Don’t be embarrassed because honestly, I’m so fucking relieved that you feel the same way too.”

“What? Liam, you like me?”

I nodded tentatively.

“Oh, Liam, that can’t happen!” She said, suddenly alarmed. She took a step back and spun around covering her face with her hands.

“Why can’t it happen?”

She turned back to me and threw her arms to her sides. “Because! I’m dating Noah! And you’re practically in a fucking relationship with the whole fucking world! And… and, you’re my best friend and, and…” she trailed off, overwhelmed with emotion, and sat back down on the couch, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face in her lap.

“If I like you and you like me and Noah’s an ass who raped you, might I add, then why are you dating him? And why does it matter what my job is? I’m still the Liam you know. I’m not theirs.”

“I’m afraid to break up with Noah,” she said softly. Her voice cracked slightly. She was hiding her face so I couldn’t see.

“Why?”

No reply.

“Do you think he’ll hurt you?”

She lifted her head up slowly. Her braid had come undone slightly, so loose strands of brown hair shimmered by her face. Her eyes were clouded with tears that were streaming down her face. Oh, god, is she beautiful when she cries. But, the thing is with Evie crying: sure she’s beautiful when she cries but she’s beautiful all the time. She makes you feel like you stepped on her puppy or something. It’s just so purely sad. She looks like a lost little girl again.

“I don’t think he’ll hurt me, but…” she trailed off, looked beyond me, and bit her lip, thinking of the right way to phrase what she was going to say next. “It’s like this. People know you as Liam from One Direction, right? Well, what if you quit the band. That would be like me. People know me as Noah’s girlfriend and if it ends, no one will ever think of me ever again.”

So that’s it. Evie’s greatest fear. She was afraid of being normal, of being obscure, of being negligible, of being typical. But she wasn’t. Why did she keep seeing herself as ordinary? She wasn’t. She didn’t want to be insignificant, but definitely wanted no spotlight on her. She hated being forgotten but she hated being the center of attention. She was afraid of being left alone, because she had been so many times in the past. Her father left her, her mother stopped caring, her boyfriend was an ass, I left her all alone. But when I tried to pull her back to me, she somehow detested it? Why? I didn’t understand.  So what did she want? Somewhere in the middle? What was that? I certainly didn’t know what she wanted. I didn’t think Noah knew either. I think he thought he knew, but didn’t. Hell, I don’t think Evie even knew what she wanted.

She read my mind, like she’d been doing for years. “I know it sounds like I don’t know what I want, but I have this idea in my head of what I want my life to be like but that idea is nothing like it is now,” she said, and looked at me with her huge teary eyes and I just wanted to console her. I sat next to her and awkwardly wrapped my arms around her as she went on. “But the thing I know I want right now is you.”

“Ev, we both know that we can’t do anything until Noah is out of the picture. It’s already happened too much. I don’t want to be the one to make you break up. I want you to break up because you want to, not because of what we did or I want you to.”

“Liam, why are you so good to me? I don’t deserve it.”

My heart wanted to burst. With black mascara running down her face and her huge, puppy eyes looking at me, wide, innocent, honest and open, she looked so damn sad. She was still somehow beautiful, though. She didn’t sob when she cried or distort her face like other girls did. She was graceful. Tragically, terribly, miserably graceful. I just wanted to hold her and fix all her problems. Her eyebrows knit together and her big ear popped out of her hair. I reached over and touched her face, pushing the stray strands of hair away. She eyed my hand warily as I did. I gingerly cupped her cheek with my hand.

“You deserve to be treated well every minute of every day,” I whispered because it was true. She deserved to be loved. Deserved to be kissed. I brought myself closer and closer to her until our foreheads touched. I watched her eyes flutter shut, expecting to be kissed.

I pressed my lips against her forehead and brought my lips down to her ear. My lip brushed against her earlobe and I felt her shiver. “I think I’m in love with you, too.”

(NOTE: 

i know i've said this about 100000 bajillion times, but THANK YOU ALL!!! you have no idea what you've done for my self confidence. I honestly thought that this was going nowhere. I just love you all so much <3

Again, i'm terribly sorry about how short and unedited this is. i just couldn't wait to get it out there and was so excited to be free of writer's block <3

to all those Directioners, <3 <3)