Rose

The Night I Realized

It was the evening before prom and I had never been filled with so much regret. Beatrice wasn't looking so satisfying anymore. As a matter of fact I almost completely forgot that I had agreed to go with her. If mom hadn't found the half sheet of paper in my pocket before she threw my jeans in the wash I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought. But here I am pulling up to the front of the school, in a tuxedo, miserable. I held the little case with the corsage. Inside was a white Daffodil. I just wanted to go home.

When I walked into the gym all my peers were scattered. Some kids near the food, some sitting in chairs against the wall, most dancing. In the distance I could see Louise talking happily with her friends. She met my gaze and I smiled but all she did was look away and drink a red liquid from her cup. Great. The only attractive girl I began to like and she hates me.

The microphone feedback caught my attention as well as all the other kids in the gym. There on the stage was Beatrice.

"Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? One, two, one , two." She cleared her throat. "Hello fellow classmates, and teachers. My my boyfriend Mitchell McDonald has an important announce to make. Mitch?"

She stepped aside and let Mitchell take charge. "Yes it has come to my attention that the psycho freak you all as Rivière has come to this dance tonight thinking that my hot as the sun girlfriend would really stand around anywhere near him."

Everyone in the gym laughed. People started to look at me.

"Hold your ground River." Rose was next to me in her blue t shirt and ripped jeans.

Mitchell continued " as you all know something very tragic happened to Reaper last yeah and ever since then he's gone into serial killer mode, wanting to kill everyone he sees. Personally I think he should be locked away for our safety."

"He's a piece of shit River he's just trying to get a rise out of you." She was closer.

"Well Raver I'm sorry that you're a complete fucking psycho but you can't have my girl. As a matter of fact she doesn't even want you! You came all the way here with a corsage for nothing!"

In the corner of my eye I could see Louise looking at me worried. Like she wanted to stand up for me but she didn't know how.

"So Reader, what do you have to say about the fact that you're an absolute complete loser and no girl in their right mind would ever date you." Mitchell held the microphone out.

"You're so much stronger than they think River. Don't let them underestimate you for a second." Rose was whispering in my ear.

The memories all came at once. The good, the bad, everything.

And this time it didn't hurt.

Because River was tired of hurting. River was tired of feeling pain. Feeling numb. So River did what nobody, not even himself, would think he had the courage to do.

He calmly walked through the crowd and up to the stage. He wasn't angry. He wasn't hurting. He was neutral.

He grabbed the mic and said "What do I have to say about it. I have to say that you're all pathetic for trying to bully someone because they're suffering a loss. I have to say each and every individual person in here that has ever ridiculed me since the events last year is a sad person. I have to say that Mitchell, I've never made fun of you because you cried in the 10th grade after you lost the game and felt guilty that you let everyone down."

Mitchell's face went angry.

"Beatrice, or should I say Beat-Rice, you try to make friends with people to get you want. But not once did anyone ever want to be friends with you because they thought you were a good person."

Beatrice was angry as well.

"As for all of you. Anyone who believed the rumors. Anyone who called me a freak. Who said I'd shoot the school. I'm going through a loss. I've lost someone that I cared about so incredibly much. I bet none of you knew that. I know because I've heard all the rumors. 'He's schizophrenic.' 'He's mentally insane.' 'He's the reason his father left.' All these absurd fucking rumors. Well I'm here to tell you all that my best friend, my first love... I lost her..."

My head was spinning. I hadn't been able to face the realization that she was gone. I hadn't accepted it. I...

Couldn't breath. My eyes began to wander to the floor. I was loosing it. The confidence.

"She's really gone..." I said quietly into the microphone.

"River. It's over with. Just go home. They get it now. Look at them." She was laying her chin on my shoulder. I glanced up.

Before me was a sea of red puffy eyes. Streams of tears were pouring out of the many faces in the crowd. But the person who caught my attention was Louise. She was audibly sobbing. She was clutching her chest. Hurting. She knows what it feels like. To loose someone you love to someone so vile.

"River, let's go..."

I looked up at the rest of the crowd again. And spoke one last time.

"Rose... was my everything. And a year later I'm still so in love with her. There's not a moment I don't think about what she would be doing right now if she was alive. I just... I miss her so fucking much... " And before I could completely brake down I ran off the stage out the back exit and into the night.