Rose

Letting Go Of The Past

After I told mom what had happened at prom she insisted that I finish the school year at home. She apologized for acting so harshly to me, admitting that the stress of being behind on bills and worrying about the sanity of her son was scaring her. Not that it made it okay, I forgave her anyway.

I ended up graduating. The school allowed me to do everything from home after my mom threatened to sue the school due to bullying to the point of suicide, even though I told her I wasn't suicidal. She's problematic.

And as for Rose...

I haven't seen her. That night I went home after prom I stayed up in my bedroom and finally accepted the fact that she's gone. I had been in denial for so long.

I still look back at our memories together. Our first kiss. Our first time. She was my first everything.

If I could take that night back I would in a heart beat.

~
Rose please don't go with him he's probably drunk. Please I don't want you to get hurt. Just stay here. I'll take you home later.

You know I can't River.

We'll call the cops if he try's coming in again.

It's just easier if I go with him. I'll make him let me drive.

He's not going to let you do that.

Yes he is. He's dumb but he's not that dumb.

*a horn beeps angrily outside*

I'm sorry Riv. I'll call you when I get home.

I don't like this Rose.

Everything will be fine, I promise.

Call me as soon as you can so I know you're alright.

*more angry beeping*

I have to go. I'll see you later. I love you.

~

That was the night that Rose for the first time was wrong about something. I'd wished over and over again that she had been right.

But she never called.

When I didn't hear from her I decided to bike my way to her house.

My heart dropped as soon as I saw the flashing lights.

Rose was wrong again. Her father wasn't smart. He didn't let her drive.

The rumors had started after I went to her house and threatened to kill her father in a blind rage. Because of course the scumbag survived.

I wish I could see her again. Tell her how much she means to me.

I visit her grave every so often.

The last time I went and talked to her I was in the best place of my life.

~

"Hey Rose. I miss you. You're probably tired of hearing me tell you that every time I come to see you. I can't help it. Sorry."

I sat down and placed the bouquet of flowers down next to me. I was leaning on the tombstone.

"Guess what! I got a dog! A Doberman just like you said you always wanted. His name is Cerberus. He's a really good boy, you would've liked him. I also met a girl. She's so amazing. I think you would've liked her too. She watches a lot of anime, total weeb." I laughed.

"Don't worry it's not like senior year. I'm 25, I know how function properly, for the most part. She has a dog too! A Rottweiler named Bella. Odd name for a Rotti huh? But she's sweet as hell. Cerberus really likes her."

I sighed.

"You know, nobody will ever replace you but I think she's the one. And no offense but she doesn't remind me of you. I think that's what my issue was for a long time. I was always comparing people to you. And nobody was as good. God I was so in love with you Rose. I still love you with all my heart but now I'm making space for her. Lilly is her name. I hope you're okay with that."

Just as I said that the wind picked up and blew the whites of dandelions everywhere.

"I'll take that as a go for it then." I smiled and began to stand.

"Well Rose, I've got to get going. I love you. I miss you. Oh and one more thing."

I crouched to the ground and dropped my voice. "You were right. I experimented a little. Turns out I actually am bisexual." I stood, winked at the tombstone and began to walk away, knowing that somewhere Rose is laughing happily and telling me 'I told you so!'