Trapped

Professional hate

I did it. It's done. I faked my identity for the 6th time to get a lead on a case.
But, damn that boy. He is smart if he wasn't innocent.

The annoying alarm wakes me up the next day,  I struggle to open my eyes and locate where my phone is, then I stumble even more when i stretch my hand searching for my phone on the table next to me when everything falls to the floor.
Great.
I move my hand to the floor and  get my phone, as soon as I get it I stop the frustrating alarm and stare at the ceiling.
Why do we have to wake up?.
Why do we have to sleep?
Why do we have to start a new day everyday?
It's already hard enough for me to sleep, knowing that my sister's killer is out there.
It's a land where I meat my worst fears.
Where I meat Amanda, and she blames me for everything.
But waking up is much harder.
Much worse.

I get up from bed and walk to the bathroom, I brush my hair and pull it in a pony tail, then I brush my teeth and curse the hotel for putting a stupid toothpaste, because it sucks.
The worst.
Tastes like old shoes.
I open my suitcase, which I still haven't got any of my stuff out of.
I pull out my blue jeans, and a white shirt with blue butterflies on the top of it.
I put some lipstick, and grab my Phone then head out.

As soon as I get in the PD I hear his voice, loads of girls around him the usual.
He is the center of the audience the usual.
He is telling stupid jokes and everyone is laughing the usual.
I can't help it but hate him.
I can't believe I was so stupid to get involved with him at some point.
But, I am supposed to be a professional, so I'll try my best to not hate him.
No, I change my mind, I'll hate him professionally. That's a real thing right? Like, when you hate your boss. Your boss doesn't always happen to be someone you hated since childhood, and then got hot so you went to bed with.
But, you get the point.
Oh, and by going to bed with him I meant getting involved with him.
As a metaphor, not really going to bed with him.
That would be the death of me.
Bad thing.
Ew.
I'll hate him in a professional way.
I walk up past all those stupid girls who fake laugh just to get a chance with him.
"We have work, follow me" I say and I walk towards his office. Our office. Because we are partners.
he and I.
Partners.
I need to stop.
"Demanding. Aren't you" he smirks and follows me.
I can't help it but smile.
"So you had a talk with our little friend?"
"Uh huh"
"And?"
"Well, short vision or long version?"
"I love hearing your stories" he smiles.
"Yeah, right" I roll my eyes.
"Okay, so at first he didn't seem too fond of the idea of letting me in, but then he did when I told him that he would be okay with it unless he had something to hide," He nods. "So, it could be that he got scared and wanted to prove that he was innocent, or that he was curious to find out what I have to say" I say "what do you think?"
"I think he was curious, he seemed like the curious type when I met him" he says "oh and he has a bad temper"
"I think so too" I say then continue with my story "then we talked a bit, then I asked him if he knew how the psychopath murdered his victims and he said 'by stabbing them I guess'" I give him a suspicious look, but he just nods "so I think he added the I guess because he wanted to seem unsure of how they were killed"
"Wait wait wait" he says "when I told him that someone tipped us about the case he said that we accused him of raping girls and stabbing them"
"So, he knows that they were stabbed" I say "he said that to sound unsure"
"Or maybe because he really wasn't sure?" Shepard says.
"I don't agree, but let's not argue now till I finish" he nods and I continue "then I asked him if his mother was raped and he said yes and got a bit defensive"
"Yeah, when I talked about his mother, he became furious and defensive" he says.
"Which might indicate that he has something to hide" I say
"Or, that it's a sensitive subject for him?"
"No, that's not it," I Shake my head and he nods for me to continue "and, when I told him that his mother's rape might have something to do with why he raped the girls"
He interrupts me "wait you what??"
"I didn't tell him that, I just told you this to cut to the chase, dumbass" I roll my eyes and he nods.
Could he ever stop nodding? Ugh.
"He didn't get angry or disgusted, instead he played it cool and kind of sarcastic"
"He did that too with me"
"Which basically means that he ninety-eight percent has something to hide"
"I don't know about that..."
"Oh and I forgot something" I say
"What?"
"I aced it," I say brightly "being a journalist" and I smile.
"I'm sure you did" he shakes his head and I can't help it but see how tired he looks, I can see he is hurting, not sleeping, probably not eating.
And I have feelings for him. Professional hate is a feeling.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing"
"Don't nothing me"
"Nothing you"
I roll my eyes and he says "I'm okay, Lance" he stands up and walks towards me "or I'll be okay, keep on hating me" he pats me on the shoulder "don't ever stop, it's what's making me go" and he walks out of the rooms
My hate keeps him going?? What is wrong with that dude?
Shepard stormed out of the room, and we obviously still hadn't decided if Michael Henderson should be a suspect, even though I think he should.
I walk out to look for him, I ask a girl who I don't know "do you know where Shepard is?"
"Yes, saw him walking through that door" she points at door and I go there.
Without knocking I walk into it, and i see the most disgusting thing ever. Shepard making out with a girl.
His back was against the wall
He has his tongue all over her.
His hands on her back.
Her legs wrapped around his hips.
They are breathing heavy and moving in sync.
Oh my god.
Gross. How will I ever forget this scene.
Ugh.
I feel like my stomach is being stabbed.
I feel like the devil is taking my soul out of my body.
God, this is disgusting.
I feel sick.
I knock on the door.
"Oh my goooodd" she screams and covers herself then runs out of the room.
I turn around, giving him space to dress up properly.
"You liked watching that?" I can feel his smirk.
I want to throw up.
"We need to talk" I say, fighting so hard the urge to kill him.
"We can do other things" he winks at me.
Jerk.
"What did you just call me?"
I realize now that I've said it too loud.
"I said jerk, you are a jerk" I say "can we please talk about Michael and decide what to do?"
"I don't think a sad 17 year old boy would rape and kill women"
"I think we should investigate him"
"Why?"
"I don't like him, I didn't like him yesterday"
"So we should accuse a child or rape because you just don't like him?"
"You know what I mean" He did. He knew exactly what I meant.
He knew I meant that somethings were missing, that he didn't tell the whole truth, but he wants to push me.
And I can't face him right now.
Not after what I've seen.
"Fine, Shepard" I shake my head "do as you like"
I'm done I mutter on my way out.

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