The Most Cliché Book of 1D Imagines

25 || Zayn

Imagine :

You've been waiting for twenty and a half years, (twenty and a half minutes, actually), for your gorgeous boyfriend, Zayn Malik to come home. The thing is, today is Valentine's Day, and you're expecting him to do something special since it is also your first year anniversary.

About an hour later, the front door unlocks and in steps Zayn.

He looks so freaking beautiful, someone dig my grave.

You notice that there aren't any bags in his hands, and wonder where he's kept the gifts he's supposed to be buying for you. Or maybe he's just going to take you out for a romantic dinner? You're hoping not, because the last two times he did, he fell off the Burj Khalifa and got a plate smashed on his head.

"Hi, babe." He says, kissing your forehead and then throwing himself on the couch.

"Um, hi," you reply, wondering why the hell he wasn't doing anything special yet. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"No..." he mutters, sounding unsure.

"You sure?"

"Now you're making me think I have forgotten —wait, oh my god, I REMEMBER. Shit, shit, shit."

"You remember, now? So you had forgotten, hadn't you, you lazy ass—"

"Babe, you know I love you but this can't wait. I can't believe I almost missed today's football match." Zayn exclaims, groping around for the TV remote. "I love you for reminding me,".

You look furiously at Zayn. "If you had a brain, you'd remember that today is Valentine's Day and also our first year anniversary!"

"Wait, what?" Zayn says, blinking in confusion. "Oh, shit. Oh, crap. Oh, God."

"God is right, because you'll be meeting Him in a few minutes after I'm done with you!" you shriek, searching for something to hopefully kill him with.

"Calm down."

"I can't understand - WHACK - how you even forgot - WHACK - something so important - WHACK - when you do nothing - WHACK - all day!" you yell, in between thumping Zayn with a pillow.

"Do nothing? Who's the one who works his butt off everyday just to feed your broke ass?" Zayn yells, hurling a magazine at you.

"Not you. All you do is mooch around!" You scream. "You literally do nothing - WHACK - all day - WHACK - except stare at your - WHACK - ugly face in the mirror."

"I might be ugly, but at least people don't get cancer when they see my face." Zayn screams, causing you to fling a pillow at him. This one hit him hard, and he falls to the ground.

"Good. I hope you die," you spit, and try to walk out by Zayn grabs your foot and you land on your face.

"I don't want to die, and I won't, so don't get your hopes up." Zayn snarls.

"I don't get you," you say, still on the ground, "first you say that you don't want to live forever, then you say you don't want to die. Sort out your priorities Zayn! Oh wait, I forgot, you have none." And with that, you run to the living room, tears streaming down your face.

~

"Babe, you know how I said I forgot Valentine's Day and stuff? I really didn't... I even got a cake." Zayn says, kissing your head. This time, you don't try to kill him.

"You did?" you ask, surprised.

"Yes, of course. It's in the fridge." He says, and you run to the kitchen to look for it.

"Grab a knife, will you?" you mutter, looking around for the non-existent cake.

"Know what's sweeter than cake, though?" Asks Zayn, picking up the knife.

"What?" You ask, blushing.

"Revenge." He says, and stabs you to death.

"Just because you didn't want to live forever, doesn't mean I didn't want to either," you yell, before you die.

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I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M WRITING ANYMORE, IF YOU LIKED IT OR SMILED THE SLIGHTEST, PLEASE GIVE IT A VOTE AND DROP A COMMENT ON WHO YOU THINK MY NEXT IMAGINE SHOULD BE ONN ❤️❤️❤️❤️

ALSOOO, OPINIONS ON THIS ONE?