A Song for You

II - Tradition

I was listening to  Adam Levine's Lost Stars while writing this chapter. Have fun. :)

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BAMBAM

Jackson gave Bambam a piggyback ride until they got to their dorm's door where he carefully dropped him off. Youngjae and Jinyoung were snickering, calling Jackson "whipped" but Jackson didn't seem to mind and just told the two other boys that he will give them a piggyback ride next time too, they just have to ask. Bambam is not sure he likes this though so he said, "No Jack, your piggyback rides are exclusive and they're just for me." Jaebum chose that moment to interrupt and intervene otherwise a debate would have surely ensued – with the boys fighting over who get exclusive rights to Jackson's piggyback rides. Bambam thinks his Got7 brothers are crazy but he loves them all the same. Though if he was being honest, he knows he loves one boy more than the others.

Bambam is not really sure when it started. All he knows is that he woke up one day and realized that it is no longer brotherly affection that he feels. He would look at him from across the dance studio where they were rehearsing and he would feel as if a thousand butterflies are fluttering in his stomach, fighting for attention. Jackson – before him Bambam did not even think about being attracted to boys, he was never attracted to boys, until Jackson. He changed everything he knows or thought he knew about himself.

He didn't realize that he was left standing at the threshold of their dorm thinking about Jackson, not until Mark flicked his forehead.

"Bambam! What's wrong with you? Get in!" Mark admonished.

He couldn't help but sigh. "Sorry hyung, I spaced out for a bit." He saw Jackson looking at him from the living room couch where he is sitting, worry is clearly etched on his handsome face. Bambam had to walk over to him to reassure him, "Jack, your face is creased with worry again," Bambam said as he tried to straighten Jackson's brow. "Don't worry about me, I am fine." He then gave him a smile to assuage his worries and had to stifle a sigh when he saw him return his smile. He does not like Jackson worrying about him. He never wants to see his handsome face creased with worry, most especially about him. He wants to be the reason for his smiles; he wants to make sure that he gets to be the one to cause his eyes to light up when he laughs.

"I'm gonna go shower, Jack. I'll see you tomorrow." Bambam said with a little smile gracing his full lips.

Jackson reached out to his hand and as if drawn to it, Bambam finds himself intertwining their fingers together. "Are you sleeping in your and Yugyeom's room tonight?" Jackson asked, his eyes saying things his mouth will never have the courage to ask.

"I don't know... Do you want me to stay with you? You miss them?" Bambam asked, eyes soft and full of understanding. Jackson simply nodded, caressing Bambam's wrist with his thumb. Bambam nodded and said, "I'll stay with you. See you in thirty." He then proceeded to his assigned room, took out his towel and a pair of pajamas and went ahead to shower.

He remembers the first time he slept beside Jackson. It wasn't Jackson who needed the company, it was him. Having been so young and away from home, he finds himself getting homesick sometime and one day, Jackson found him alone in the dorm's balcony, just looking at the night sky and crying his heart out. He kept thinking, his family in Thailand could be looking at the same sky but still, they are too far away. He thought he will never be homesick, he thought he was strong enough, independent enough to be able to endure homesickness, that he would not need anyone to help him through it but he was wrong. And that's where Jackson came in. He took one look at him and he understood that Bambam was missing his family back home. He didn't hug him or anything, he just started talking. 

"When I miss them," he said, "the same as you, I look at the sky and think they are under the same sky as I am. Though they are in Hong Kong and I am in Korea, it's not like I'll never see them again. And I always go back to the reason why I moved so far away from home in the first place, and it makes things a little easier. Just go back to why I needed to stay away from my family – and it makes thing better because I know that I am here not for selfish reasons. Though this is my dream, I know that fulfilling this dream would also mean a better life for those that I love. So go back and think about why you're here, Bam. It's okay to miss them, you know. But don't let that get you down. Use it as your motivation to be better at what you do, to strive to be the best that you can be – just make them proud so that nights like this will be worth it." And just like that, Bambam felt as if the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders. He stopped crying while Jackson was talking, he turned his head and found that Jackson was no longer looking at the night sky but was instead staring straight at him. 

"It's okay to cry, Bam. I'm here if you need anyone, alright? Don't ever forget that." Bambam moved closer to Jackson and hugged him so tight – as if communicating through the hug just how grateful he was that he has Jackson beside him. He felt Jackson hug him back, just as tight. Then he whispered, "Sleep beside me tonight, Bam. We used to do that when we were just trainees, remember?"

"But your bed is too narrow now. I'm taller compared to before." Bambam pouted.

"Hey, there's enough room. I don't move around too much when I'm asleep, you know," Jackson countered. And just like that, a tradition was born – anytime one of them is feeling low and missing home, or just generally wants someone to be there, they sleep on one of their too-narrow-beds and never minding it one bit because what's more important is that they have each other.

Bambam felt the hot water run out when he suddenly had goosebumps erupting all over his body. He thought of Yugyeom and how he will now have to take a cold shower – oh well. He got out of the shower, proceeded to dry himself, got dressed and brushed his teeth. When he got back inside the bedroom he shared with Yugyeom, the latter is already knocked out, snoring. He took his phone and earphones and went outside to go to Jackson's bedroom, the one he shares with Mark.

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Waaah!!! Even if nobody reads this story I feel like I still need to write. I have already finished 4 chapters, still unedited though. So you, yes you! If you are reading this, well, thank you so much. I appreciate it. You can leave a comment as well as vote, just saying. :)