All I Ask Of You

Chapter 14

I walked back to the opera house with Phillipe who said his goodbye by kissing me on the cheek, leaving me on the steps as I watched him leave.

I raised my hand to my cheek where he had kissed me, feeling absolutely nothing, which confused me. I was confused that I didn't feel a spark of interest in him as I had before, my mind was disoriented in trying to figure out if I truly even loved him at all. I know I cared for Phillipe, but did I love him?

I shook my head in realization.

No, but he loves me.

I sighed as I ascended the stairs feeling upset at my emotions for feeling this way, I didn't want to hurt him by not returning his affection for me, but I felt nothing at his touch. I appreciated the comfort he gave me and enjoyed talking to him, but to have more than the relationship we have now, could I even be able to grow to not just care for him but love Phillipe?

I didn't know.

I arrived at the dorms to see Meg standing in front of a mirror pinning her hair back in a bun.

She glanced over at me, smiling widely as she did.

"I've been waiting for you to come back, I have so much to tell you!"

I forced a smile even though I didn't feel like it, not wanting to ruin Meg's good mood with my unhappiness.

"What do you have to tell me?"

She quickly turned around, practically skipping over with excitement and splaying her fingers and I could see a silver ring with a crystal diamond, my eyes widening in realization as my eyes landed on it.

"You're engaged!" I exclaimed as I held her hands excitedly in mine.

"Oui, I am, Lewis asked me to marry him this afternoon, I'm getting married, oh Celeste you just have to be one of my bridesmaids!" She squealed as she squeezed my hands tightly.

"I better be," I joked with a laugh.

Before Meg could say anything the door suddenly opened and I turned to see Madame Giry standing in the doorway.

"Celeste?" She said as her eyes landed on me.

"Oui, Madame Giry?" I asked as I approached her.

"A letter came for you from your Father,"

I stared at the envelope in her hands, not believing that my Father had written me a letter and I felt my hands shaking as I took it out of her hands.

I felt my heart accelerate in my chest as I tore open the envelope, unfolded the letter, and began to read it.

Celeste,

A lot has changed in the four years since your Mother decided to hide you away from me. It took me years to even find out where you were, to even be able to communicate with my own daughter. Since there was no way of communication of course there was no way for me to tell you what was happening here. I wanted to let you know that I've been sober for over a year now, your Mother helped open my eyes to see the monster that alcohol brought out in me, I just wished I had been able to see it sooner.

I don't even know how to put into words what I have to tell you now. Your Mother passed away 3 months ago. She had fallen ill with Consumption and was barely sick for a day when the disease completely consumed her. The funeral took place soon after and now she's buried at St. Andrew's Cemetery.

I have since moved to England and I know you'll never want to see me again because of the pain I have put you through I'll never forgive myself but I'm truly sorry for everything.

- Your Father.

I stared at the letter not believing the words I had read, all that filled my mind was an overwhelming sense of disbelief. She can't be dead, my mother had to be alive, this can't be true, it wasn't.

I clutched the letter in my hands tightly feeling like the world was crashing all around me as if the rug had been pulled out from underneath me and I was falling endlessly. I could hear Meg's voice but it sounded muffled, everything was blurring around me as I could feel the tears fill my eyes and I quickly ran out of the dormitory.

I sprinted out the doors of the opera house, searching desperately for a carriage.

I had to see for myself, it couldn't be real, my mother had to be alive, she wasn't dead, she wasn't.

I climbed into the nearest carriage quickly telling the driver where to go, barely able to get the words out.

As the carriage arrived I stared at the gates of the cemetery, feeling myself begin to shake the tears filling my throat.

"Madame, this is your stop?" The driver spoke as he opened the door for me, offering a hand to help me out.

I slowly nodded my head as I accepted his hand and climbed out.

I forced my legs to move towards the gates, opening them with a creak.

My eyes landed on every tombstone in search of my Mother's name, praying that for some twisted reason, my Father had been lying and she wouldn't truly be dead.

Slowly though I froze as I saw along the right side of the road a white stone angel, written beneath its feet was Evangeline Laurent, my Mother.

My legs immediately gave out and I fell onto all fours in the dirt in front of her grave, the reality slamming in my face that I would never be able to see her again. Never again will I feel the comfort of a Mother, I'll never hear her voice, and never will I ever even be able to see her face. 

I no longer have a mother.

It was immensely hard to breathe as the tears streamed down my face, filling my throat, my heart was pounding in the pit of my twisting stomach. I dug my fingers in the dirt, letting out a blood-curdling scream.

It wasn't fair, I should've been there, I should've been home with her. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair....

The night was starting to descend, and with the darkness came the pouring rain, soaking my clothes and hair as I stared numbly at my Mother's grave. I was unable to move, think, or feel, all I could was sit and stare.

"Celeste," I heard a familiar voice say my name but I didn't budge, I couldn't even if I wanted to.

I could feel my vision slowly going into darkness and before my head could hit the floor I felt someone catch me. The last thing I saw before the darkness succumbed me was the white of the Phantom's mask.