Negan's Runner

Chapter 13

 I wake up and turn over slightly to look at Dwight. His face is so peaceful as he lays there with no care in the world. No problem he has to solve at the given minute. No worrying if Negan is going to kill him today or if he is going to be taken out by a walker. I make my way to the bathroom and turn the shower on.

I wrap the towel around me and make my way to my closet. I pull on my jeans and a ripped up shirt. I strap all my weapons on and grab the backpack in the corner. I take one last look at the bed before I lay the letter next to him. I lean down and kiss his forehead.

Dear Dwight,

 Sorry about this, but its the only way I can think of that will keep you safe. I don't need you worrying about me. I am going to be ok. Help Rick he is a good man he will help you stay safe. I know you must think I used you. I didn't I do like you Dwight. Hell I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think it would work. I am going to find a way to bring Sherry back to you. I love you and always will. I don't blame you for what you did. I know we have to do what we have to do to survive. I want you to know if this doesn't work that I tried.

C.C.W

I make my way out of the house and to the gate where my bike rest. I turn the note in my hand round and round. I open it back up and stare at it a while longer. 

Dear Family,

 I'm sorry. I know this isn't the goodbye you wanted hell this isn't the goodbye I wanted. I love each and everyone of you. Yes even you Rosita. I know this may seem confusing and it may feel like a betrayal and i'm sorry for that. I know you know something is off. I had a secret thing with Negan. I plan on using that to get Dwight his wife back and us a victory. I will die trying. Tell Daryl I love him and I never meant for this to happen to him. I love you Carl. Give my judybug a kiss for me. She is so innocent in this world of shit. I know that I must  seem mushy and almost poetic. I sigh at this so much. Keep her innocent. Don't let this shit world tear her down. She will be the better of all of us.

Rick,

 I know this is crazy and jumbled. You have to excuse me. I wrote this looking at a naked man. I know you didn't need to know this. I have hidden guns at the place I took you when I first told you I trusted you. The first place I told you of my past. There is enough there to start a reveloution. Use them wisely. Don't be dumb and gamble them away at some suckers bet. If I die I want to at least die knowing you had a chance.

Michonne,

 My blessed Michonne. You were like a mother to me in so many ways. I know we are so  close in age and that will always be so. I love you. I know you will keep Rick going. You are his balance. I used to make fun of you like ying and yang but it is true. You are the balance in all of this. I'm sorry goodbye had to be in letter and not face to face, but I knew if I seen you I would not be able to go through with this. I am going to offer myself up. If it doesn't work I am taking as many of them bastards with me. I will see all of them in hell. Don't let him gamble the guns away.

Daryl,

I love you. You taught me so many things in life. I remember you telling me about a blonde girl you fell in love with and how you lost her. I know you said you would never love again, but you will. She will be the balance in your sea of chaos. She will calm the hurricane that rages in you. She will let you be the person I know you are meant to be. I love you my Daryl. I'm sorry.

I close the letter and leave it on the front porch. I wipe tears that are falling from my face. I look up at the sky that is still dark. Please let this work.

*****

I know really short and kind of slow after the last chapter, but I know how I want this to end finally and I am trying to get it down.