bucket list + joji miller

love

*one year later*

"it all happened so fast." joji spoke quietly to his therapist.

[flashback]
"it's the doctor, i'm gonna walk outside for a moment." amara stood straight up, answering her phone.

joji waited on the couch, his mind wandering off thinking about what the doctor is talking about.

amara returned a few moments later with an award winning smile plastered on her face.

"it's time. they have a kidney ready." amara hugged joji tightly, smiling into his chest.

joji was speechless so he showed his happiness by squeezing tighter.

"can you drive me to the hospital? my mom said she'd meet me there." amara smiled weakly.

"yeah, of course." joji quickly grabbed his keys and guided amara to his car.

"what was the last thing on your list?" joji questioned trying to lighten the mood as the two drifted through the slow l.a traffic.

"love." amara stated simply.

"oh," joji paused, unsure of how he would've been able to help her with that.

"but i think i can check that off." amara smiled, intertwining her fingers with joji's.

joji's eyes glanced down at their hands, then back at the road as a smile formed on his face.

amara stared out of the window, watching the palms trees and cars pass to hopefully calm her nerves.

amara then became nauseous and light headed within a few passing cars.

"are you okay?" joji questioned worriedly, due to the fact amara's appearance has drastically changed to something ghost-like.

"i don't think so." amara spoke weakly, resting her head back.

joji sped up weaving through traffic, after running a few red lights they arrived at the hospital.

joji immediately picked amara's frail body up and carried her into the emergency room.

"what happened?" amara's mom asked frantically.

"we were on our way here and everything was going good and then she got really sick and she could barely move and it all happened so fast." joji stammered.

amara's mom walked into the room slowly side by side with joji to see amara hooked up to multiple machines.

a single tear slipped from joji's eye as he took his too familiar seat next to amara.

the beeping of the heart monitor echoed through the quiet, dim room.

"you have to get better so i can love you." joji whispered, holding amara's feeble hand.

after many morbid moments the doctor entered the room as joji's heart simultaneously sunk, not ready for the news.

"it seems as though the donor's kidney is not compatible for amara." the doctor spoke lowly and apologetically.

joji froze in shock and fear for his best friends life.

"we are waiting for another kidney, amara needs to fight until we can find one." the doctor smiled weakly trying to remain somewhat optimistic.

amara's mom nodded slowly, processing the information as the doctor exited the room.

not letting go of amara's hand, joji rested his head on the bed, his mind slowly drifting off for what he thought was for a while.

"joji! wake up! please go get a doctor!" amara's mom shouted, the heart monitor not making the frequent beeping noise anymore, but a single continuous beep.

joji quickly got up, running into the hallway to locate the doctor.

the doctor ran into the room, shouting for a nurse.

"amara, you have to stay with us." the doctor spoke calmly, pressing the defibrillators to her chest once.

nothing.

all that was audible now was the sound of the loud beep and muffled weeps.

the doctor pressed the defibrillators to amara's chest a second time.

still nothing.

"i'm so, very sorry." the doctor spoke, shaking his head.

at that moment it felt as a piece of joji was no longer there, something will now be missing forever.

joji hugged onto amara's mom tightly as she cried into his chest.

[end of flashback]

"don't you think she'd want you to live your life and be happy?" the man's low voice echoed.

joji nodded in agreement considering joji's happiness was always a source of amara's own happiness.

"i still take flowers to her grave and sometimes max and i have a beer there, it's like we're together again." joji smiled as he thought of old times with amara.