Cross my heart

Chapter 5- Dean's Secret

 "I hope to hear from you soon, Cas." Dean said and smirked at Cas. He leaned in and gave Cas a kiss on the cheek. "I'm glad you took it so well. It's not an easy thing for me to tell someone. Hopefully it doesn't change the way you see me."

"Oh, god of course it doesn't." Cas said. "I'm just so thankful that you're still here. I don't know what I'd do...:" His voice trailed off.

There was a short silence before Dean finally said something. "Yeah, um, I had a lot of fun tonight, actually. Like I said, I hope to hear from you. I'd love to get together again sometime." Dean leaned onto the door frame and winked at Cas and turned to start walking towards his car.

God, Dean did things to Cas. That wink practically gave him goosebumps. Dean's voice made his spine tingle. And When Dean touched him, he ached for more. And even better, Dean was his.

....................

Cas spent the rest of his night watching his favorite TV show, chopped. For whatever reason, it just let him take his mind off things.

But he didn't really get as into it as he usually did when watching Chopped. After all, he was too busy thinking about Dean.

Too busy thinking about Dean's emerald green eyes and his deep voice, his amazing stories and how he managed to overcome a dark time in his life. Cas felt like Dean really trusted him. Dean's secret must not have been easy to come out and say, and Cas admired his bravery

As he slept that night, he even dreamed of Dean. How couldn't he? He dreamed of them taking a road trip to Kansas, and Dean showed him his childhood home. Cas had no clue what his hometown actually looked like. But Cas imagined a tall, blue two-story house. The town seemed quaint and welcoming.

....................

~Earlier that night~

"So, what was Jo talking about? You said you'd tell me later."

Dean looked over at Cas, his eyes suddenly filled with grief. "Um, well, It's hard to tell you, but I guess there's no way you'd stop bugging me if I didn't tell you."

"You can trust me Dean." Cas said sympathetically. "Whatever it is, you can trust me. If you don't feel comfortable telling me yet, then don't."

"Thanks, Cas. But It's a big part of my life, and I trust that you can handle it." They sat in silence for a short time before Dean began his story. "They said I wouldn't live, ya know? But I did. I'm really lucky."

Cas began to say something before stopping himself. He decided it was best to just let Dean talk.

"I was just as surprised as the doctors when they said the tumors had stopped growing. When they said that the treatment had worked. It was a hard time in my life. I had cancer, Cas. I came pretty damn close to death." A single tear rolled down Dean's cheek.

"Oh. Oh my god."

'Yeah. So I just remember a fucking horrible pain and then rushing to the hospital and finding out that I had pancreatic cancer, and it was maybe a week after my ex had left me and my mom had died a month before that. So, my life was pretty damn horrible. Right after my mom died, I had started drinking pretty heavily, and then I got in a car accident for a DUI. I almost killed myself, but then I remembered my mom and my brother, and stopped..." A few more tears fell down his cheek before he began to talk again. "So, um. Jo was just referring to the fact that I hadn't dated anyone since... my last ex. And that was five years ago."