Dark Wanting (BWWM)

30.Sorry

Lola P.O.V

I looked at Casey being forced out of the room, and my heart felt heavy. I know it shouldn't but I could see that it was bothering Robin. He stood in the corner messing with something, when I looked over to Micah. He didn't seem shaken by any of this, but then again he's a lawyer, he's seen worse I'm sure.

"Robin." The chief said and Robin looked at the glass and at me.

"Yeah." He replied and they both nodded at each other before they both headed for the door.

I sat down in the chair behind me with my mind racing over everything that just happened. I was the reason, that this once happy girl, turned into this unstable stalker.

"You okay?" Micah asked ducking down to my level.

"I'll be fine." I replied turning from him.

"Look Lola, I'm your lawyer and before that I was your friend and I need you to talk to me more than ever now. I know its never easy seeing the person that did you wrong, but now is the time to speck on it." He turned my head to look at him.

"Micah I know that but, there's nothing for me to say about this right now." I replied to him and he nodded.

"Well, Robin did a hell of a job with this case, not sure how but he did. I'm need to get home and we can talk when ever you are ready, Alright?" He said and I nodded.

He rested his hand on my shoulder and I smiled at him, and he returned it with a wink. He walked out the room and I just sat there, deep in though. I couldn't believe what I just saw, and heard, but I had to shake it off. Robin, the look on his face told me the same story he told me in the car. Casper, and only Casper was on his mind right now, but I did need to ask him something. He told me a different story about his life than what it really was. I looked as he walked into the room and stopped in front of me.

"I have a lot of paper work to do, I'll drop you off at home." He whispered out to me but I just looked at him.

"Loving someone is hard." I replied and he gave me a confused yet sad look.

"Lola, its going to be alright..." He started but I stopped him, and he looked at me before he pushed the door closed.

I turned when I felt his hand slip into mine, and I looked up at him hiding the pain I know he felt.

"Loving someone can hurt, and it's the worst pain that anyone can ever feel." I stopped when he just look at me knowing what I was now talking about.

"Lola, you don't have to talk to me about this." He replied but I shuck my head.

"If anything ever happened to you, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I wouldn't want to breath anyone, all of my happiness is in you. I know it shouldn't be but I don't care, seeing you, smelling you, talking to you, just hearing your voice makes me happy. I love you so much that, if you didn't make it to heaven, I would go to hell with you." He didn't talk this time so I kept on.

"With all of that love I give you, tomorrow you could push me to the side, and say you love me but not that much. If that happened I will still love you, I would love you till it hurt, or until it killed me. The reality of this is that you made up your mind and now it's time for me to do the same. Do I let love kill me? Or do I let love teach me? Casper loved you, and he let it kill him. He killed himself that day, you didn't kill him that day." I looked into his beautiful eyes that had sadness filling them.

"Learning to love yourself is hard, and wanting someone to love his harder. Looking for someone to love you, when you don't is even harder. I can't love Casey the way she wants me to, but she can't love herself the way she wants me to either. That's what's killing her, that's what killed me, and that's what killed Casper. You knew him as a brother most of your life, he knew you loved him and died knowing that, he just didn't understand how you loved him." I watched him down at the ground and I backed away from him.

"I love you so much Lola, and now I understand how Casper really felt. I don't think I could live with you." He whispered behind me before he pulled me back into him.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and intertwined out fingers together. He rested his head at the nape of my neck and slowly rocked me back and forward. I closed my eyes, lost in the feel of just being with him, being this close to him and being this happy with him. I opened my eyes when I felt a soft kiss on my neck, and I looked back at him.

"Come on, I'll stop and get you food and take you home." He said releasing me and I walked over to the chair grabbing my jacket.

I turned and saw him looking at me with a smile, and I returned it to him as I walked closer to him.

"Thank you." He said as I grabbed his hand intertwining out fingers again.

"I'm your fiancé, that's what I'm here for." I said smiling as we both walked out the room together.