It may have been our secret place, but it'd been a long time. I found myself staring at a few buildings before finding the right one. Then I felt stupid for forgetting because how could I? This place had been my world once upon a time. In my sleep, I could have come here.
The anticipation built up considerably as I rode up the elevator. I could feel every inch of me shiver and tingle with a peculiar mix of anxiety and excitement. The moment I'd been waiting for had arrived. Finally.
I jumped a bit when I saw him waiting there for me. Yes, I was expecting him there, but I guess I kind of thought– or should I say hoped– that he wouldn't be there.
"Hey." He said it like he'd missed me.
"Hey to you, too." What else was there to say? Why did you invite me here? Why the fuck are we here again? What?
At least, he didn't set up the place like he'd used to. There was no blanket, no giant candle, no cheap wine. Just him. I felt a sort of ache when I looked at all the emptiness, though I didn't think I would have minded before. He looked so awkward just standing there. I bet I looked the same.
I never would have thought of this secret place, our little fire exit on the twenty-fourth floor. It had freaked me out when we'd first started meeting here. Just the thought of tripping had me immobile for minutes. So far, we hadn't yet fallen off, but right now, I actually wanted to jump. Better to be a pool of blood on the pavement than this.
"Wow," I said to diffuse the tension. "It's been a while."
"Yes," he agreed. "It has."
He hadn't looked at me once this whole time. His eyes were focused on the view, the one I was too familiar with. Once could see everything here– the farmer's market, the public library, the jewelry shop with the ostentatious insignia... the one he was looking at right now.
He'd dreamed of buying our rings there when he could afford it. An engagement ring with a great big diamond, two wedding rings inscribed with our love, five golden rings for each of our kids– he'd said he'd buy them all there. He'd promised me so.
He looked at me for the first time today. "I shouldn't have invited you here," he told me, his voice hoarse.
"But you did," I replied quietly.
He didn't have to be guilty, when we both were at fault. I played a part in this, too. No, I shouldn't have acknowledged him. I shouldn't have replied to him. "I shouldn't have come here today."
"But you did," he mimicked me.
"Why..."
He thrust a box into my hand and went inside, muttering just loud enough for me to hear. He left out here in the freezing cold wind, just like he did such a long time ago.
It took me a while to open it, but I didn't have to. I already knew what it was.
A diamond. He'd gotten me an actual, genuine diamond. Shaking, I took a closer look at the box. It was that same jeweler's insignia.
"It's always been yours."
I didn't know I'd collapsed until I felt the cold metal landing. I could've been plummeting to my death, and I wouldn't have cared. All that mattered now was this tiny ring that brought back all the memories and all the pain. Yes, everything else could go to hell, even him.
I'd been staying strong all this time, but now, there was nothing else to lose. I leaned against the bars and let the tears come.
A/N Hey, guys! Here's another one! :))) I promise I'll update more often from now on. School's ending anyway hahaha. Thank you very much for reading! (and voting and commenting) Love you! <3 <3 <3
YOU ARE READING
martyrdom
Poetrylittle trinkets that hit you right on that spot in your heart, the one that you thought was closed off, but is actually the source of what? of e...