Not real.

Chapter Fourty: What I Told Him

*Katniss*
   He's dead. Because of me. You couldn't get to him. You can't find him. It's your fault Katniss. Your fault. You convinced him to go in there. You said it was the right thing to do. He was right. Living in oblivion was better. You didn't even get to say goodbye...
   Tears sting my eyes. I stare into the darkness of my jeans, my face in my knees. I unconsciously rock back and forth. It doesn't help. I run my fingers harshly through my hair, still rocking. I've been out in the woods for days, weeks maybe. Sometimes I hear people looking for me. They'll never find me though. The only person that could ever find me is...him. And since he's dead, I'll die out here. Like I deserve.
   But he didn't deserve to die. It's my fault. I should've just eaten those damn berries. The Capitol won. They've taken everything from me. Everyone. And for the people Clarise hasn't taken, well, she'll be back for them soon.
   I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't get to tell him that I do trust him. That I'm sorry for not trusting him. And now all I can think about, all I want is one more minute with him.
   Tears burn my eyes and make their way down my cheeks in torrents. My throat closes and choking sounds escape my lips freely. This pain is unbearable.
   I lift my head to the sky and let out the scream I've been trying to suppress. Of anger, of sadness, of mourning, of pain, of agony. Birds scatter from the trees above me. Let them find me. Let Clarise find me. They can't force me to keep living. I won't keep living.
   Suddenly another voice answers mine and I jump to my feet. It's...his voice. That's impossible. It's a trick. It has to be a trick.
"Katniss where are you!?" He yells again. No, no this doesn't make sense. My mind tries to keep me in place but my feet move on their own.
"Katniss!" His voice is nearer, branches snap and leaves rustle. I stumble my way through the woods, branches whip my face and roots trip my feet but I don't care. Finally I find him among the trees. His back is turned to me. I slowly step forward, and my foot snaps a branch.
   He whips around and his eyes meet mine.
"Katniss?" His voice, it sounds real.
"This is a trick. Isn't it?" My voice cracks, I want so badly to believe the sight in front of me. But I can't. I can't fall for her tricks.
"No Katniss this isn't a trick it's me, Gale." He attempts to convince me. Worry etches his features. I can't fall for this.
"No, she's trying to hurt me. I won't let her. I won't let you. You're some-mutt or something that's here to kidnap me or, hurt me. But it won't work." My voice wavers as I look at this amazing replica of the man I loved. Slowly I bring the knife from my belt and position it in my hand to throw. The mutt raises his hands in surrender,"Katniss, it's me," his voice is steady like Gale's,"Let me prove it to you." My knife lowers to my side but I don't lose my edge. The mutt breathes a sigh of relief. Why would it do that?
"I've known you since I was fourteen I fell in love with you not a mile from here after I broke my wrist-"
"Anyone could've known that. You have ten seconds to convince me or your dead." I raise my knife again.
"I told you I'm ticklish, no none else knows that but Posy."
"Posy could've been made to tell O'hara when she was kidnapped. Five more seconds."
Tears form in his eyes. Why would that happen? No, Katniss don't fall for it.
"Catnip-"
"Four."
"Katniss please-"
"Three."
"Catnip, you told me I'm the one you couldn't survive without." His voice rings out through the woods, and it's as if time stops. The whole forest goes silent. My knife lowers and my vision blurs.
"I never told you that."
"You never said it out loud. But you told me, when you kissed me. After I woke up from my surgery." He looks at me with so much hope, begging my to believe him.
"Gale?" My voice is so small I almost think he doesn't hear it. I'm proved wrong when tackles me in a suffocating hug. My arms wrap around his neck and my fingers tangle themselves in his hair. I start obnoxiously crying a mixture of happy and relieved tears as I breathe in his familiar smell of home. Bits of sunlight through the trees flash in my blurry vision and I can see the sun setting below the trees in the distance from over Gale's shoulder. Gale doesn't say anything, and I don't understand why until I feel my own shoulder becoming damp.
   I pull away from his embrace and look deep into his eyes, red from crying. His dark hair is disheveled from my fingers running through it, and his face has different colored bruises and cuts lining it. His clothes are dirty and torn but I could care less at this moment.
   As if reading my mind he crashes his lips into mine, kissing me with so much fire my whole body shivers. This kiss says all the words didn't speak.

I thought you were dead.

I know. It's okay I'm here.

I'm sorry I didn't trust you before, I do now. I'm sorry I didn't believe it was you.

It's alright Catnip.

I love you

I love you too...

He breaks apart first and cups my face in his hands. His thumbs dry the remaining tears. Those familiar grey stormy eyes stare into mine, hypnotizing me. Suddenly a smile finds its way onto my face.
"Gale we won." I say softly. My smile is returned by his and he pulls me in for a kiss again.
Suddenly he grips my waist and lifts me off my feet. I find myself suspended above him as he runs and whoops and yells in victory. Birds and other animal life scatter and run from the racket he's making and I laugh at his recklessness.
After he's out of breath from running around the woods carrying me, he sets me down and smiles down at me, intertwining his fingers with mine.
"You're damn right we won." The comment makes my smile broaden and I pull him down for a kiss. When I pull away presses his forehead to mine.
"I'm about ready to start living, how bout you?" I ask, a smirk pulling the corners of my lips. His eyes light up as they meet mine and that fire that burns inside of him seems to grow brighter by the second.
"I think that sounds good Catnip."