Peterick OneShots

Hot Mess

Or, "It's your birthday, so you can blow me out"

Stripper AU courtesy of my buddy, also named  Patrick  "Patrick gets dragged to a strip club for his 21st birthday, where Pete works as a stripper."

Word Count: 3k+

Feat. Mikey and Gerard Way, Brendon Urie, and Joe Trohman

TW: NSFW, alcohol, slurs (not rlly demeaning but just in case)

~~~

Patrick hated his friends sometimes. Really, he did. He knew they meant well by dragging him to a gay bar, he knew they wanted him to have fun for once, to stop working or studying all the time. But Patrick really didn't like the idea of strippers.

It's not that he didn't mind nudity, or sex workers, or any of that. He just felt so damn guilty and pervy, and he respected sex workers as people too much to enjoy it. Plus, this was not how his mother raised him, and let's be real, Patrick Stump was a bit of a momma's boy.

So, Patrick tried to put his foot down, tried to refuse to go.

"Patrick," Mikey whined, dramatically falling onto the couch in front of Patrick. "It'll be fun man! Gee works there, they know everyone, it'll be fun! I bet we could even hang out afterwards..?" Mikey trailed off, smirking. Patrick stared at the youngest Way, horrified.

"Mikey if you're telling me that Gerard Way is a stripper I'm not going to be able to sleep for three years."

Mikey snorted, shaking his head. "Nah, Gee just DJ's. The staff loves them though, thinks Gee is just the sweetest thing.

Patrick huffed, sitting in a chair facing the couch. Joe finally spoke up smiling looking between the two thoughtfully. "Brendon sings there sometimes too actually. You could just go for drinks and to be supportive of your friends."

Patrick rolled his eyes. "Brendon is kind of a whore. Like, in the best possible way, but still. Strip clubs would naturally be his thing. But they really, really, really aren't mine."

Joe sighed, crouching on the ground in front of Patrick.

"Alright look. How about we go tonight, for an hour or so, and if you don't have fun I'll make it up to you next weekend. The nerdiest birthday party you could ever ask for, complete with a Star Wars cake."

Patrick pursed his lips, considering, and finally relented. "Fine. But I want the best fucking Star Wars cake you can get, Trohman."

Joe rolled his eyes as he stood, high-fiving Mikey as he walked to raid Patrick's kitchen. Sighing, Patrick slouched in his chair, feeling like a scumbag. Tonight was gonna be different.

-

They agreed on leaving at 9, so that they could get there kinda early and order drinks/food. Which is why, at 8:45, Patrick was panicking over what to wear. What even do you wear to something like this? Casual, dressy, something in between? Did his hair look stupid? Patrick desperately needed help at this point.

And he got it. Help came in the form of Brendon, who offered to drive them all since he had to work tonight anyway. He was dressed in a suit as usual, looking as good as he always did, and Patrick couldn't help but feel a little self conscious and Brendon searched through his wardrobe.

He glanced at him again, eyes narrowed, before digging through the closet. "I think darker colors would look better.. And blue, because of your eyes.. Do you have a tie that matches this? No? Well I think I have one in my car.." Finally Brendon clapped his hands together, clothes lain out neatly on the bed.