Option A || TTBMBFF

15 3 3
                                    

Word Count : 562


W O L F ' S       C U R S E


Cover :

Shouldn't wolf's be wolves or just wolfs? I don't know.


I love the image BUTTTTTTTT the writing, are you serious? I can't even read what it says. Make it bolder or bigger, or do whatever you need to do because I can't see it.

Put the thing above the title near the bottom if you don't want to change the colour, so we can all actually see it.


I think you should move the title down the slightest bit because it looks misplaced and bold it and b=make it bigger to make it stand out.


Blurb :

Okay, you surprised me, I actually like the blurb, however the second part, the one that is in the book already, why would you put that in the blurb as well?

Leave it to one place. Leave the highest ranking in the blurb too, don't duplicate it again.


Apart from that, I don't really think I can criticize your blurb, perhaps there could be more information added but I think it would be acceptable the way it is.

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Story :

There are a lot of  chapters before you even got to chapter One, is the copyright really necessary in that amount? It's just an empty threat basically, it's not like you are going to physically put a lawsuit on top of them. If you're really worried then keep it like but it's just a lot.

To be perfectly honest I just skipped the very first chapter because I saw that there was a prologue so why is there another section of the story in it? It doesn't make sense in the slightest.

In chapter one I see a mistake instantly, the hyphen should be separated from the words - like this ( to Sean - one of the ... )

Why have you wrote chapter One at the start again? We know it is chapter one, that just put me off the story even more. ( It isn't even highlighted to show that it isn't apart of the chapter. Also, separate out the quote and the story because it's just too cramped together for my liking.


At the start, it's just a string of speech after another, you need to add more actions or backstory or something. In the second part, you forgot to add the speech marks by the way.

It also seems forced, 'it was my pleasure, 'It's not all the studying that's for sure!' It seems way too forced. The part of the ones I just mentioned is definitely forced, changed it so it sounds realistic. Say it out to yourself for help.


Once again - change - the hyphens - like - this not - like- this.


In the scene try to describe where you were or give hints at it, because for me, I just like having an image.

Your sentences are very choppy, try combining them or adding in extra details.


Overall, despite these mistakes, I think you have a good story that you can work with, just add more description, check over for mistakes and don't force the writing. The plot that I read went along nicely apart from small things and I think you have a good story on your hands!



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Overall Rating: Meh

14 / 20


SAMPLE

"A curse that would kill the love of her life if not stopped. "


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