My dysphoria is actually phycically painful right now. As in it's the worst it has ever been.
There hasn't been a single trigger all day; my brother and I pretended to be in a three-legged race only to realise neither of us can co-operate, we went to see Lego Batman (because I am a 3-year-old at heart) and my best friend is seeing someone they haven't seen in a long time who means a lot to them. Today was a good day. But, all of a sudden, it's like my body just goes HELLO REMEMBER ME? I'M THAT HORRIBLE THING YOU HATE AND WANT TO GET RID OF AND I'M GOING TO RUIN THE REST OF YOUR DAY BY MAKING IT PAINFULLY OBVIOUS YOU'RE IN A GIRLS BODY.
So now I'm getting ready for bed and I'm standing up staring at my pajymas knowing there is absolutely no way I can take anything off to put my pajymas on without bursting into tears.
I actually hate dysphoria. I'd always assumed I could get through it easier than any other aspect of being trans but it is as bad, if not worse than, the constant fear that everyone sees me as just being a girl whose a tomboy.
Yay! Dysphoria has actually completely ruined my mood. I'm sorry to anyone else whose read this and had been having a nice day.
Zbohom.
YOU ARE READING
Transgender: A Tale
Não FicçãoThis will be a diary of sorts. I need somewhere to write down my thoughts because I apparently suck at talking. I am a closeted transgender man; if you don't support the LGBTQ+ community, read on. I'll enjoy laughing at your idiocy in the comments...
