Nicole POV
You fell asleep on the sofa, wearing your glasses after watching another episode of twin peaks. Once I had made you a mug of tea your eyes began to droop with each sip until soon the mug was empty and your head was on my shoulder. We didn't talk about the cuts. I knew why you did it, but surely I didn't approve. Then again what I did to myself wasn't any better. In the silence of our apartment I could hear your soft breathing. It was like a lullaby I missed just like your voice. Your hair was cut in the sides yet a mess on top. You looked better than ever except for the cuts. If only you actually looked happy. I bit my lips together to stifle my tears. If only I protected you from all of this.
"Hey Daniel... Dan... Danny?" You stired slightly, your legs intertwined with mine as your head moved against my shoulder.
"Mmm"
"We've got our meeting. I gotta get ready." You sighed softly and lifted your head, reclining your spot more as you stretched. A slight smile tickled my lips as I glanced at you then got up. I showered quickly, popped two pills, and got dressed. I couldn't help but look at myself in the mirror, applying make up to my marks to cover my sins. I caught you walking in and stood, offering you my seat. "Come here let me help." You nodded and sat down, your hand taking mine to sit on top of you. My legs hung off the otherside of the bench your torso between them and your face at the same level as mine. I got lost for a moment. Those eyes staring into my own made my heart stutter. I carefully lifted your chin and ran my make up along the short cut. You were probably almost unconscious before you even got that far from the sign of your wrists. One was easily covered with your bracelets and watch. The other took more time even then you still needed a bracelet to cover it better. I didn't notice your eyes examining my features till I looked at you. Without hesitation you took my face between your hands then looked at my lips. Soon yours were on mine in a feverish haste. Your tongue dancing with mine and all the memories of you came rushing back. The way your hands glided down to my hips and gripped roughly. The way your hair felt between my fingers. I knew I should have never tried to forget you. There was no forgetting you. My top shelf whiskey so to speak. You parted your lips from mine, our foreheads resting against each other's as our hearts raced.
"I needed to know you still felt the same... That you still are in there..."
"I'm right here love.... If we don't leave now I don't think we'll make it out of this bedroom..." You chuckled and picked me up, my legs wrapped around your torso and your lips running down my neck. I couldn't help but close my eyes at the sensation. You sat me down on the bed and moved to my lips.
" Then I best be getting my jacket." I opened my eyes and laughed as did you. A tease in so many ways. At least you were laughing. You wouldn't be for much longer. We took the lift down to the car, just taking mine as I didn't want you driving on pain meds. How ironic considering I couldn't function without them. It was here that I had to wear my shame with pride. These people knew who I was out there. Jesse Rutherford's fuck buddy. Possible drug addict and fuck up. We walked through the lobby, it wasn't just you and me anymore but Will and Janna to make it seem like we came as a group. Taking the lift we all headed to my office. It was the way I left it months ago, the curtains pushed aside to the view of London. In a way I missed this view then again California was beautiful.
" Nicole? Wow... You look...great." Williams came in and I turned around flashing a slight smile.
"I told you don't believe everything the news says." I was so good as covering my addiction it was sick. I'd get so good that it would even be easy to hide it from you.
" Yes that's very true. So let's head into the studio room, it's huge and a lot more comfortable to talk." I nodded and lead the way. I should have felt the energy he gave off. I opened the door and there they sat. My California misfits.
Zach was the first to shoot up for a hug, grinning like a idiot then came Michael. The two others weren't so fond of my existence. Then there was Jesse. A toothy wide eyed grin and cigarette tucked behind his ears.
"I heard you missed us! We're here Niks!" I chuckled and soon he had his arms around me in a hug, squeezing the air from my lungs.
"I did miss you guys, but what are you doing here?" I glanced back at Williams and he chuckled.
"They need someone to plan their tour while I find them a manager. I figured they would like to see good ole London."
"Pip pip cherreo" Jeremy nudged Jesse as I rolled my eyes.
" Alright alright.... I'll handle it." I sighed softly as Williams moved out of the way. Janna was the first to introduce herself. Jesse hugged her and earned daggers from Kyle. Will and Woody were next. Then there was you. I felt frozen watching you. The two men who know me completely were shaking hands.
" You must be Dan... I have heard a lot about you. All good things."
"She tends to make it all up as she goes." You chuckled slightly. Yet I saw your face. A tinge of jealousy growing by the second. I didn't think I would ever meet this side of you.
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