The Boy I Married [hold]

07⎜A Million Elephants

Justin

Morning chugged around as an enormous hangover eagerly seeking it's revenge. The RV looked as if a hurricane had just destroyed everything, and if Scooter got word of the destruction in here, it would be my ass on the chopping block. Guilt was eating away at my conscience like maggots to dead flesh. If anyone were to ever find out what I did to my wife and it somehow managed to get out, she would never forgive me.

Self destruction was prevalent. There was only a matter of time before Scooter noticed my habitual need to activate my system of self sabotaging behaviors. He would never let me get away scotch free. If there was one definite attribute about Scooter that drew me into him, it was his undying exigency of a conscious that required him to be a good person. I figured telling him would be better than him accidentally finding out from one of the dancers. My actions, my responsibility.

The air outside was warm. Sun rays bouncing off the RV's parked out front of tonights arena. Scooter's camper was right behind mines. Morning's were always his meditation moments. If he didn't kill me over my reckless decision to practically neuter myself, he would definitely kill me over interrupting his calming period.

"You better have a damn good reason to be knocking on my door this early, Justin." He opened the door and let me inside his RV. His place definitely looking a lot more livable than the travesty the party had on mines. I flopped down on his couch and looked up and him. "What is it?"

For some reason, his presence proved to be entirely more intimidating in person than the version my mind played this conversation out in. Scooter's opinion of me was something I genuinely valued. He was one of the only people that could make me feel negligible⏤and my wife of course.

"I'm uh. I'm looking for a place where I can take Brooke on vacation after the tour ends. Somewhere that's hot and comfortable. Nothing that feels too touristy. I think she needs to relax. It has to be extremely nice so it will take her mind off of all the stress she's been harboring you know?" Scooter looked at me with a slight smile. "I figured you would know all the best spots."

He seemed somewhat interested in my attempts to fabricate something out of thin air, but his signature look prevailed. He had something to say, but instead he bit his tongue. This was our back and forth conversational breaker whenever there was an issue. He'd give the look knowing I'd ask what was wrong. Then he would try to deny it and insist that everything was okay, and then he'd finally buckle down and unleash the beast.

"What?" I questioned. "Do you not know of any good vacation spots?"

He shook his head for a bit, not once dropping the look. "That's what you wanna talk to me about right now? Vacation spots?," he questioned, shrugging his shoulders. "I think you were meaning to apologize for the stupidity you participated in." He practically yells, although it was nothing louder that a whisper. It was something he learned to perfect. "You must've lost your last remaining brain cell at that concert because honestly I would've never thought you would do something so idiotic. How could you possibly do that knowing the fertility problems Brooke has had since she lost the baby? This is unforgivable and if you thought you were coming in here to get justification for your recklessness then you've greatly mistaken me for someone else."

He didn't have to say anything else. The guilt had already eaten me alive after his first two sentence. He was right. It took almost everything in me to not cry right now. Regret wasn't even word enough to describe the way I felt about what I had done.

"What?" I half laughed, trying to hide the pain his words caused me. "A vasectomy? I'd never get one of those knowing what's going on with my wife. Why would you ever think that I would do that?"