17 | Lingering Silence

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The trip ended abruptly after Justin's revelation. I tried with everything in me to give him the benefit of the doubt because who was I to be upset with him over that? My infidelity loomed over me as a rain cloud and even though I knew with everything in me that Justin was the father of the baby I'd been carrying, there was no use in me trying to deny the fact that he was ultimately right.

Scooter, Justin and I took the private jet back to Canada in an almost deadly silence. Even if we wanted to make proper conversation, we couldn't because things had already turned weird. The tension amongst us was suffocating and there was no way we'd be able to alleviate it right now with the way our emotions were flying.

Once we actually landed, Justin instructed our driver to only take me. He insisted on waiting for a different driver to arrive riding and even when we made it to our homes, he refused to come to my parents house. Maybe it was for the best. It would give us enough time to cool down so we could try revisiting the conversation when we weren't ready to bite each other heads off.

Mom and Dad were sitting in the living room watching something on tv. When mom noticed my presence, she raced over to the door and smothered me in a much needed hug while dad said his hello's from the sofa. I motioned mom upstairs with me so I could tell her everything that had been going on so far.

"How was the trip? Barbados? I mean it doesn't really get better than that does it?"

Her excitement reminded me of how happy Justin and I were to be going on our first real vacation as a married couple and somehow the both of us managed to royally screw it up. I wish there was a version of the story that seemed magical, but every time I thought of something that was great, his reaction to my pregnancy ruined the entirety of the vacation. Somehow getting the best news of my life turned out to be not what I was expecting it to be.

"It was amazing at first. We spent much needed time together. We were on the same page and honestly it felt good. Then things changed," I paused, shrugging my shoulders and taking a seat next to her on the bed. "I started feeling sick and thought I had a stomach bug. Turns out the bug was just a baby. I'm pregnant."

Before words could come from her mouth, she jumped to her feet with her mouth hanging agape. This was the reaction I wanted. I smiled at her and nodded until I realized that now even her reaction didn't satisfy the longing in me. Justin was the only person that could fix that and since we weren't talking right now, it'd have to go unnoticed.

"You're kidding! I'm gonna be a grandma? That's great news," she smiles, pulling me into a hug.

"There's more," I added. "And before you bash me on what I'm about to tell you, I know. I already know that I messed up. I had an affair with someone. We used protection of course, but when I told Justin I was pregnant, he wasn't excited because he assumed I cheated. I'm not innocent, obviously, but his assumption of me cheating was solely based off of the fact that he had gotten a vasectomy while touring without telling me."

Her eyes grew wider. The room held our silence for a moment while we both tried to come up with a rebuttal.

"Wait. A lot is going on right now. So Justin got a vasectomy while on tour and didn't tell you?" I nodded my head and allowed her to lay out the play by play. "And you had an affair while he was gone which he thinks resulted in your pregnancy since he had the vasectomy before the vacation started?" She questions, waiting for my confirmation. It was obvious the information was heavy and tons to process. She sounded hurt, but most of all—disappointed. "Brooke, you cheated on Justin?"

The hostility in the room was too much to miss. I could feel the defensiveness sneaking up on me ready to attack her, but I swallowed it in order to have an actual conversation about this entire situation.

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