Existence

Chapter 1: Need...

"Sandy, why do you always need to do things like these?" Mum told me. Her eyes filled with resentment.

"Sweetie, it's not like we're mad at you or something but we always spend too much attention on you, if we come at your movie-whazzat? we wouldn't be able to come to your brother's graduation."

Mum...Dad... Sorry...

"It's alright. Don't come, Mum, Dad. Please just be beside brother. I'll just go there by myself. Thank you." I told them. I ran into my room pretending to be smiling because Dad is looking at me. But when I closed the door, my knees melted and I started sobbing.

Too much to my sadness. I began singing my favorite song. I just couldn't take their words so lightly.

Brother is my favorite person in the world but then later on he started hating me and told me things that hurt me so badly.

i wanted to scream but they may come up and check on me. 

Few days ago, I was chosen to be a main character at our movie. Then we will play it on the same date my brother's graduation will be held.

I asked Mum and Dad to come at the movie viewing, but I guess another invitation has been nailed down.

The truth is, never did they come to any programs I had in school. Sometimes they would even scold me for being the main character or for presenting myself into these things.

I never blamed them, but their words just hurt me. But too much to my hate, they're my family and I loved them.

I slept at my bed and screamed at the pillow. I am so tired, being the top student is hard and no one is even guiding me. even if I tried making myself hate them, I just couldn't. Hiding the pain and taking the burden is the best.

I woke up in the morning fixing myself for the movie viewing.

When I left the house, no one even said Goodbye to me. I don't exist.

I drove the car to the school seeing a lot of parents flood the school parking lot. My friends are having fun asking for tickets in front of the entrance hall. I waved at them, but they seemed like they're ignoring me. I felt so much pain I ran on the back stage and hid behind the curtains. No one would see me here - I thought.

No one came in my family. THey're at my brother's graduation. I do understand them, but I couldn't understand, why my friends hate me so much?

I cried, why'd I been born if I am just going to feel these things?

Why do I always need to be lied? Why do I always need to feel like I am hated?

The movie started. I heard my voice playing in the speakers. I am happu that I was given the chance to do this but, I want to be alone.

I ran out of the theatre and drove towards my brother's graduation.

A marching song played inside. Awardings.

Dad's Prius was three cars away from mine. I waited for them to finish, listening to my CD's and laughed as I heard my voice singing.

It was filled with sadness. Even the strum of the guitar, notes of the piano and the violin.

My best friend Taylor was one of the people who helped me build this band, but I guess it just ended up getting disbanded. All I have now is God, I think?

I inderted the very first CD we made. I sang and played the electric this time. Taylor plays the drums. The others played bass, keyboards. 

Tears escaped my eyes. I need to get out of here. Somewhere far... I need to go to my Aunty in Alaska.

People started getting out of the building. I saw my brother laughing with Mum and Dad. They looked like a beautiful painting. They're already happy. I shouldn't ruin it.