Mr. Howell // Dan Howell x Reader

✖17✖

I walk into my first hour class, my eyes red, blotchy, and puffy from crying into Phil's chest. I spent about 20 minutes sitting in Phil's car, crying over everything, refusing to explain the exact reason I was crying. At this point, any and everything could make me burst into tears.

Phil trailing behind me, I plop into my seat, pulling the hoodie over my eyes and hugging the warm coffee into my (hand type, mine are huge and petite) hands, soaking the warmth in. Mr. Howell squints his eyes at me, observing every aspect of me, almost like he is trying to decode who I am. Once he realizes it's me, his side chick, looking like hell, his eyes widen and he smiles, almost as if he's happy to see me in so much pain. 

I feel something light and small hit my head. I turn to the ground and see a crumbled up piece of notebook paper. I pick it up from the ground and slide it into my oversized pocket. Dan glances over at me, a slight glare expressed with his exquisite brown eyes. I return a pained smile, and he continues with his class.

I fondle the paper in between my fingers as Dan rambles on about Shakespearean Sonnets. Ignoring his lesson, I think about Angelica. Her smile, her sweet voice, her ambitions, all thrown away. My father, gentle, kind, loving, providing, gone. Me, happy, imaginative, adorable, hopes and dreams, shattered. I think of the car and flinch in my chair. Phil places his hand on my shoulder, "Hey" He whispers.

I jolt and wake from my thoughts, realizing tears were streaming from my face. I look up at Dan who has his arms crossed and his weight shifted onto his right leg. His leg was shaking, almost as if he was waiting for an answer. Wiping the tears from under my eyes, I sniffle.

"I'm sorry, sir. Did you ask me a question?" I ask, removing the hood from over my head, tucking my hair back.

Dan sighs, "I asked if you were alright"

I nod, slouching in my chair.

"You seemed very sidetracked..."

"I'm fine, don't worry"

"That's why you burst into tears," A familiar voice scoffs.

I don't turn back, it's a waste of energy.

"Maggie, that's unnecessary" Dan scolds.

A pain strikes in my chest. Maggie? my best friend since diapers, mocking me? What the hell happened. Turning back, I notice her and Zoe snickering. I crack my jaw, an angry expression plastered on my face.

"Anyway, I hope you all did you're reading last night because 5 people will be reciting the Sonnet I assigned. We will analyze it as a class" He sighs, sitting at his desk. "How about we start with Maggie since she loves to talk"

Maggie scoffs and rolls her eyes, soon standing up from her desk. She struts to the front of the class, her white miniskirt swaying  with every step. I see boys oo and ah in the back. Both Dan and I roll our eyes.

"Recite the poem please" Dan says, putting his feet on his desk.

"I was assigned poem 80. The poem was..." She begins. "O! how I faint when I of you do write, Knowing a better spirit doth use your name, And in the praise thereof spends all his might, To make me tongue-tied speaking of your fame. But since your worth, wide as the ocean is, The humble as the proudest sail doth bear, My saucy bark, inferior far to his, On your broad main doth wilfully appear. Your shallowest help will hold me up afloat, Whilst he upon your soundless deep doth ride; Or, being wracked, I am a worthless boat, He of tall building, and of goodly pride Then if he thrive and I be cast away, The worst was this, my love was my decay."

Dan nods, turning on the projector, the sonnet she recited right there. "What does it mean?"

Everyone adjusts in her seats. Dan doesn't move, waiting for an answer. When no one answers, he sighs. "If you will not discuss, you will be taking out scratch paper and tell me what you think." He says with a smile. The class groans in response.

I take out my paper, writing.

Shakespeare is fighting with an opponent who shares love interests with his lover.  There are indirect innuendos indicating that he has a big mouth, arse, and dick.

I giggle slightly at my work.

"(Y/N), come up at recite your sonn-" Dan begins, before interrupted by the bell.

The class leaves quickly. Dan stops me once again. I groan, "What?"

He sighs and grabs my arm, "I was just looking out for you"

I look into his eyes, "I told you I'm fine"

"Don't lie to me" He barks.

I burst into tears and throw myself into his arms.