Another Chance ~Carl Grimes Love Story~

Chapter 9 - Find Heart, My Darling

I wake up groggily, my eyes seeing light over their lids, but not having enough motivation to actually open them. I bring up my hands to rub my eyes, but they're grabbed, and I immediately stand up and force my hands out of the ones holding mine. When I had backed away from the figure, the light started coming into my vision less so that I could see. That's when I saw her. Mom.

"Darling, what's happened to you?" she asks, and takes a step closet, putting her hands on my arms. 

"Mom? Is that really you?" I ask, tears already filling my eyes. She wraps her arms lightly around me, but I forcefully pull her in and squeeze her, savoring the feeling of my mother's arms wrapped around me once more. "Of course it's me, honey. I don't believe that this is you, though." She pulls away.

"What do you mean?" I ask, keeping a hold of her hands as we stand in the whiteness surrounding us.

"You've been hardened, my dear. This world, I think, has ruined you." She looks very sad.

"Ruined me? If anything, it's made me stronger," I say, feeling a little defensive, the tears in my eyes stopping their flow.

"You shouldn't be any stronger than you already were. You're fourteen. You shouldn't feel the need to be strong or take care of yourself." She pauses. "I should be here for you."

"Oh, mom, don't even worry. I'm okay. I'm fine. I've found some really great people. We're in a little trouble right now, but it's all going to be okay. We'll fight. They won't let anything happen to me," I explain.

"That's not the point. I should still be here. Regardless of if you are safe, which in this world you never truly are, I should be watching over you."

"But aren't you already?" She gives me a sad smile. "That's up for you to decide."

"I don't know what to think about this, though. You could be watching me from, you know, up there, but how would I relaly know?"

"You wouldn't, love. You just have to believe. Have a little faith."

"You should be talking. I got my beliefs from you, you know. And what exactly did you believe in?" Both of us say "The non-believers" at the same time and we giggle.

"You are so strong. You are going to beat this world," she says, and tears fill my eyes. "Mom. No." I say shakily. She starts again, "You are going to find more people that will hurt you, but you are going to fight with all of your will and you will come out a survivor." Tears are pouring down my cheeks and I can't hear anything but my heartbeat in my head and her voice.

"What about dad?"

"Your father is fine. He's happy."

"Like he always is," I say, letting out a choked laugh.

"You need to stop being like me. Find faith. Find less courage and more happiness. I know it's hard in a place like this, but I believ ein your capabilities that you can do this. That you can power through and make the best of the limited things that you have. I believe that you can be happy. Your father does, too." I'm about to say something when she cuts me off. "Don't you dare say that happiness is not your first priority, because you know very well that if those words came out of your mouth, your father would come down there personally and beat the living hell out of you." We both laugh, though mine is shaky and filled with agony.

"You are going to do great things. I'm not going to be around for your first kiss or your first love, or my grandchildren or your first real true feeling of happiness and peace. I'm not going to be around for your birthdays or your celebrations of your survival, but I sware to you that I am going to be right here. I love you dearly." A tear escapes her large, hazel eyes and mine are ridiculously pouring.

"You know very well not to take the easy way out. Find people that are actually going to treat you the way your need to be. Pull your weight. Don't you dare take anything that gets handed to you for granted. And.... And live. Don't always be so caught up on us. We love you, so so much. We are always here, even if you can't see us. Don't be sad just because you can't see us, because I hate seeing my little girl cry." She kisses my forehead and brings me in for another hug. 

"You are going to be okay."

"Happy?" I ask.

"Happy." she says and pulls away from the hug, about to fade away. "Wait! Mom!" I grab her wrist and she comes back into full view. "Will you sing with me?" She smiles. 

She starts. "Hold me close and hold me fast, this magic spell you cast, is la vie en rose."

Then I sing, "When you kiss me heaven sighs, and though I close my eyes, I see la vie en rose."

"When you press me to your heart," she sings.

"I'm in a world apart," I sing.

We sing in unison, harmonizing, "A world where roses bloom. And when you speak, angels sing from above. Everyday words seem to turn into love songs..."

We pause and she looks at me, smiling and crying. "Give your heart and soul to me," she sings.

"And life will always be," I sing.

In unison we pause and breathe in deep, holding hands and singing one very last, "La Vie En Rose."

She pulls me into one last hug and whispers "Find heart, Emma. Find heart, and you'll find happiness." She pulls away and lets go, waving goodbye as she slowly fades away.