Loving You

Chapter 16

I was restless the entire night. Sweety and Sanju had to come through for me. They better come through.

Everything was such a big mess.

It felt as though every new thread tangled things more weaving it together in patterns that I couldn't fathom.

Everything I knew was falling apart. Everything I had thought. Everything I had depended on.

What did I really know? I wasn't sure. And of what I knew, how much I could really trust?  I was even less sure of.

The Ruhi that had existed the past ten years knew things. She could read people and situations. Her job depended on it. She could make tough decisions.

Where was that Ruhi now?

I felt nothing like her. Not right now.

And yet, I couldn't even claim to be the old Ruhi either.

Who was I now?

My phone rang, breaking my thoughts. It was a blessing. I wasn't sure where to begin sorting the mess that I was seeing anyway. I looked at the phone. 'Tarun'.

May be he could help me find the smart Ruhi back. I needed her.

"Dreamt of me?" he asked.

I wished it was that simple. I shook myself off, "Why? I don't have anyone better to dream about?"

"Hey!" Tarun called out, "Don't even think of dreaming about someone else. I am the only one who can be in your dreams."

"What is this? Monopoly on my brain or something?"

"Something like that," he teased, "I am missing you."

"Nice line. Why did you call me?"

"Hey! I was missing you. I haven't seen you since..."

"Last night!"

"Really! Was it last night? It felt like ages," he drawled.

"I didn't realise you are getting so old that you are losing your sense of time."

"See. This is what you do to me," he teased.

"I make you age?"

"No you make me forget things," he said softly, "I wanted you the first time I saw you."

"Why?"

"You seemed like a lost puppy. Lost hurt puppy. I wanted to make you smile. I wanted to protect you."

"How?"

"By making you forget your pain," he said, "I did make you forget, didn't I?"

I felt a lump growing in my throat. I wasn't sure what to say. He did mean a lot to me. He did make me laugh. Being with him did make me think, that I had forgotten.

Except that I hadn't.

***

"Molu, come sit with me for a while," Bejee called out from where she was sitting. I was trying to distract myself by helping Mom and Shalini Maa out with their last minute wedding preparations.

I was getting married the next day. Everything seemed to have gained jet speed all of a sudden.

I hugged her and sat next to her.

Would I see her again?

The thought had hit me out of the blue. I looked away for a second.

"Are you happy?" she asked.