Reborn.

Trick x To x The x Trick

First I felt light headed. Then my vision went black though I was still awake. Right after my limbs all went limp. I felt like dead weight. Actually speaking of dead weight, I wonder where everyone else is- no not the time to get distracted.

Suddenly I felt submerged under water. My breathing became heavy. Then I felt nothing. Nothing at all. I saw nothing. I heard nothing. I was nothing. Then, I felt a hand. Two to be exact.

A light appeared. I heard voice though they were muffled. My vision came back but it was blurry. I could make out the silhouette of people, two. One was white the other a blue. Am I in the hospital? A baby started crying. The crying baby sounded close. Could it be me? Oh, wasn't this "painful memories" or something? I guess this would be my first "traumatic" moment.

The scene changed.

This time I was in a worn down room. This is my old room. From when I was maybe three or four I believe. A heard a crash. Oh, the first time I saw my parents full out fight. I think this is when things got bad at home. I think they argued over money. At the time it was really scary. Can you blame me though? I was three and woke up to my parents screaming and yelling. Glass broken on the ground. The shards were scary looking when they glinted in the sunlight. The tv was on the ground. I think my father was the one who threw it. "Look what you did! You son of a bi-" I had covered my ears. Huh, I guess I can't control what I do. After all this is just a memory. Though it's a bit strange since this is from my past life not my current one. Though I can't say I find this particular memory traumatic or not. It doesn't scare me anymore.

The scene changed.

Huh. It changed during the last time I decided it wasn't scary. So maybe I just have to overcome it? What happens if I don't though? Guess I'll need to find out. I look around. Same room, different, nicer bed. I'm four.

I hear laughing. Creeping over to my door I open it. Outside is my mother and some man. Oh it's that time. I had caught my mother cheating on my father. That was strange to me as well. Since I'd never seen "mommy", as I called her at the time, dressed in such tight clothing and hair down instead of its usual business suited bun. She swayed from side to side most definitely drunk making her way over to the also drunk man dressed in all black. Giggling all the while slurring words that I couldn't make out. Then she sat next to him. Here comes to the part that probably scared me at the time.

The man leaned over and left a sloppy kiss on my mothers lips. Quite frankly I had no idea what a kiss was. My parents didn't openly express their feelings for one another. So I thought he tried to hurt her. Though I still stayed put. My little hands held the door while I was shaking. Like I said, I thought he was trying to hurt her. So I had wanted to attempt to go "save" her but was too afraid of the unknown man. Don't forget I was only a four year old at the time so seeing some man who was wearing all black, doing whatever he was doing to my mother was quite shocking and petrifying.

He mounted himself over her. And this is where I closed my eyes since the man began taking his clothes off. Oh dear god the noises. The awful noises that filled the living room and my parents bedroom when my dad was on a business trip more often than not. Every time the male voice would be different and every time I wouldn't move, speak, it was difficult to breath even.

Though now...I suppose this isn't scary. May the next scene please appear?

Different room. Slightly taller. I must be five, or so. Ah, I remember this room! It's probably the best room I ever had in my previous life. Yeah I am definitely five in this. Which means...oh right. My self esteem gets completely crushed. For awhile my parents had "jokingly" put me down, then bring me back up. Here is where they don't repair the castle tower damaged by their wars, and leave it to crumble even more, until it is nothing but dust.

Fun.

I actually really hate this memory...with a passion. If it weren't for this, so many things may have been different. Oh well, it's fine.

The door is kicked open. So now we begin. "Savannah Opalite! Look at this room it's a disaster! What are you?! A pig?! Before we know it I'll entire house will be a pigsty! You're disgusting."

My five year old self stood up. "But mommy, I just cleaned it..." My mother stepped forward her heels clicked the floor.

How scary. Poor me. "Are you talking back to me?! You will be nothing more than a fly!" She then slapped me and walked out, well I mean stormed out. I stared down.

She had never hit me before. A lecture yes, but anything physical was a no. Until now. My vision blurred, and something wet rolled down my face. I was crying. It makes sense, I wasn't used to this treatment. It was always teasing and joking if they managed to hurt my feeling they automatically brought me up. Told me it was a joke. Until now.

I wiped my tears. Is it my fault? Oh? I can get thoughts too? Cool. Is it my fault mommy and papa fight? If it was, they would tell me right? You'll get that answer soon little me. Trust me, you won't like it... I should clean like mommy told me to... That night I began cleaning every day. All in one room, mine. I should've started more rooms...

The scene shifted.

Oh it's my grandmas house. I loved my grandma, too bad she died before I really needed her. Though I suppose I've needed her since the beginning. My cousins came running out the house. You have got to be kidding me, I hate those brats. "Hey look! It's Savannah!" One of them ran up to me, the rest followed. I rolled my eyes, poor little me. A little hand grabbed at my pigtails- ouch I actually felt that. "Ew what is she doing here?" One asked. Another quickly responded "Grandma said the entire family had to be invited. Stupid old hag." Hey don't talk about Grandma like that! I remember wanting to say that; the fear prevented me from doing so. What a wuss. Guess I've come a long way huh? This doesn't scare me, I could care less about these brats now. Can the scene please change?

The same warping appeared.

What now?

Hushed whispers filled my ears, a monotone voice above them. Pencils scratching. Oh, school. However this must be one of my worst memories, the one that has brought me here. Because of this day, I have died and been Reborn. All because of the stupid boy who is about to enter the classroom door. All because of Ollie.

This is certainly one of the worst memories I have.