"I'm Sorry I Lied"

Part 2: Nightmares and Thoughts

You saw your father, emotionless. You saw him get in the car and leave you, stranded. You looked around at the unfamiliar, dark surroundings, scared. Your mother was there with you, crying. A moment later, the two of you seemed to be falling, deeper and deeper into an endless, dark abyss... And you heard your father's distinct car driving further away...

"It's all a metaphor," you said to yourself, realizing you were dreaming. As your brain snapped into a state of lucid dreaming, (when you're aware that you're dreaming) you woke yourself up.

You woke up and realized you were still leaning on Dan. You sat up and admired him, still sleeping. His mouth was in a slight crooked smile, his eyes closed, a peaceful expression on his face. Even though you were just friends, you couldn't deny how attractive he is. His awkward charm made him even more attractive to you. You sometimes fantasized about dating him, but those fantasies were few and far-fetched, considering you know he doesn't like you that way. And even if he did, you wouldn't want to date him because you have high standards for guys...

The reason you have high standards is not because of any conceit or narcissism, rather because of your past. Your parents divorced when you were young, so you never got to see what a healthy, stable marriage was like until you were older and you started paying attention to your friends' parents behaviors more. You are insecure about how much people like you, even in friendships, and that's just something you'll always carry with you. You wouldn't want Dan to feel pressured to do nice things for you when he doesn't want to, which is why you've kind of closed yourself off from the idea of dating him. The person you want to marry has to be willing to cater to you and make you feel completely safe and at ease with the relationship. You would never want to date a man like your father...

You snapped out of your self-reflective thoughts and checked the time on your phone. The light from the screen nearly blinded you since the night shift setting wasn't on (iPhone people you get me) and you had to squint to get your eyes to adjust. 2:12 AM. Too late to go back to your own apartment, too early to wake Dan or Phil up to take you home. Remembering that the boys always had a toothbrush and a change of clothes set aside for you here, you sighed and leaned back over on Dan's shoulder. You closed your eyes and tried to slow your mind back to sleep.

As your limbs grew heavier, you swore you could feel Dan's arm slowly wrap around you...