"I'm Sorry I Lied"

Part 5: Jealousy and Tears

***Hello all who read this!! I know it's been a while but I finally got to reading your comments and I'm going to update and continue this!!! Thank you guys for the support! ❤️***

Your phone dinged loudly, waking you up abruptly. Hoping it might have been the cute blonde boy, you hastily unlocked your phone to look at your texts. Nope, it was just Dan.
Dan- Hey, you're home from work right?
You texted him back.
You- Yup, was taking a nap. You wanna come over and order something for dinner?
Dan- Sounds great! Coming.
You glanced at the digital time display on the box underneath the television. 4:44 PM. All is well. You stretched and woke up completely from your cat nap, tidying the flat a bit.

You heard your door unlock as you rushed to greet your best friend, the one who owns a set of keys to your apartment. "You've kinda been MIA today. Everything alright?" you hugged him. "Yeah, I'm fine, sorry for worrying you," he responded, not breaking the hug. After a few seconds, you led him inside as you both sat on the couch. You placed your phone down on the coffee table and turned the television on to some ambiguous new channel. "How's YouTube treating you?" you asked. You forget he's a YouTube icon sometimes. It sometimes concerned you how rude people could be. "The same as usual. Pretty good, some disturbing memes, lots of disturbing tumblr posts," Dan trailed off and paused. "They really like you, ya know," he said quietly. "Really? Me?" you asked. You had never been much of an entertainer. "Yeah, I see lots of fan art of me playing some game while you cross your arms and roll your eyes in the background. It's quite funny," he laughed. You smiled. He could always put a smile on your face.

Your phone dinged and you turned to look. It was a text from a random number.
[RandomNumber]- Hey its the coffee shop guy. ;) Im Mike, heres my number. Was wondering if ur free tonight?
"What's that?" Dan asked. "Oh, just some guy who asked for my number at the coffee shop today," you replied. "Seems a little ballsy of someone to do," Dan swallowed as he avoided your eyes. "I don't know, I think it's okay. He was pretty confident to be that upfront," you admitted. "Confident guys are usually assholes," Dan snapped. As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," he tried to alleviate the wound he just made to you. You crossed your arms. It was time to confront this issue.

"Dan, do you like me?" You asked. Your heart rate sped up. You didn't want the answer to be yes, but deep down you knew it was. He just stared at you, pain filling his face. "Yes," he said slowly. Seeing your dreaded reaction, he redirected his focus to the ground. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "Dan, please don't do this to me. You know how I am about guys. I'm needy. I'm annoying. I'm messed up. And I can't allow you to let me do that to you. I have a dark past, Dan. And I don't want you to become a part of it," you looked down. "[Y/N], nobody knows more about your past than I do, and I could use that to help me express my love for you, that's all I want," Dan said, silent tears beginning to happen. You shook your head and pulled your gaze away from him yet again. "This is hurting me more than you know," you said. "Then stop it from hurting," Dan took your hands in his, both of you now crying. "Dan, I love you, but at this point I can't afford to lose you," you said, your tears becoming heavier and more prevalent. You froze as you saw your words affect his already troubled demeanor. He slowly stood.

"I'm so sorry," he uttered, before squeezing your hands and exiting your apartment, leaving you to lie there on your bed, which seemed colder and harder than usual.