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Chapter 1: Makar Sankranti

"What are you doing?" the voice behind me asked.

"Thinking about jumping down. I can already feel the wind in my hair, the cold caress. Falling, I will love that." I whispered without taking my eyes off the ledge.

The terrace walls were dirty, algae creeping up in the corners. Knots of pink thread, broken kites and feathers smeared across the tiles.

Everyone is busy today, flying kites shouting 'kai po che' when they cut their mates kites. The aroma of undhiyun and sweet potato assaulting my senses.

No one paying me attention as I stand too close to the ledge, ten floors down the ground welcoming me.

The voice was a little louder this time, a little closer "Would you like the agony too? Bone shattering and all that."

"But there will be peace afterwards."

"How do you know that there's anything afterwards?"

"Law of conservation of energy. After I die my energy would transfer. There's an afterlife, I'm sure of it."

"Transfer to your parents maybe in the form of guilt and grief."

"They deserve it."

"Do you deserve it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing Akeela. Just go fucking home."

I turned around. His face illuminated by the flying lantern in his hand.

"Wish happy Makar Sankranti to your girlfriend for me."

"I don't have a girlfriend." he said, his eyes fixed on my right boob which was slightly bigger than the left.

I glared at him "Well not a surprise, if you ask me, you perv."

"Oh, I'm sorry" he said quickly "It's just that I have never seen so much skin in real life"

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"Did you know she was gay?"

"Yes, Rohan. I did. And before you say anything else it wasn't my secret to tell."

Rohan scrunched up his face as if trying hard not to hit me "You knew. You fucking knew and you let her hurt me. I loved her. You fucking bitch."

I walked towards him "No you didn't. She just let you touch her boobs. That is not love."

"Fuck you." he shouted.

I wrapped my arms around him "I'm sorry"

"Can I touch yours?" he asked after a moment.

"No"

"But I'm sad" he whined.

"No"

He shrugged "Well, atleast I tried."

"Rohan you dumb fool!" Abhishek shouted from the other side of the terrace "Come here fast."

Rohan started running, but then stopped "Don't kill yourself"

I smiled, turning back to the view.

I could see my older brother, Naman in the garden, playing with Khushi, our neighbors little daughter.

The society opposite ours sent the golden flying lanterns in the sky, my friends cursed loudly and sent theirs too.

It was all lovely, the burned out sky and little yellow orbs of light floating in the sky.

I can do this. Three more months and I am free.