All's Fair in Love and Business: Xavier's Story

Ch. 21

For the first time ever talking to Eva isn't helpful at all. ''Thats your advice? Its worth a try?" I ask, at a loss. Where is the make him pay attitude that she used to have? Where is the make him work for it, girl? "Thats not good advice." I tell her, truthfully.

"Yes, it is. You just don't want to hear it." She points out. "Trust me the more you resist the more he'll act out and do these crazy things. Its hard to explain, but Ruxin is the same way. They're the most confident men in the corporate world. However, bring them into a personal relationship level they tend to overstep, protect and smother. Its as if they're afraid of losing us and don't know how to effectively handle the feeling. Although, their methods are efficient." She adds, jokingly.

"Oh, yes. Very efficient." I respond, sarcastically.

We leave the bathroom together and Eva introduces me to a few acquaintances she knows and we start to circle the room. Ruxin, finds his wife readily, slipping behind her and securing his arm around her waist. Eva, doesn't seem to skip a beat as she speaks to her friend, instinctively knowing its him. I excuse myself from the group to find a waiter with a tray of champagne, I'm going to need it. With a full champagne flute in my hand, I turn to go back to the group and run into Xavier's broad chest. "Are you ignoring me?" He asks, smirking.

I nod. "I don't want to make a spectacle of killing you at your own charity function." I reply, quietly. Wanting him to know that I'm angry and the smile on my face is just for show. Not that he truly needs to be told, but it feels good getting it off my chest anyway.

"Yes, I know. I might've said and done the wrong things, but it was for a good reason." He states, taking my champagne away and lifting it to his lips.

"And what the hell would the be?" I ask, under my breath.

He leans down to whisper in my ear. "I didn't use protection."

I glare at him as he straightens to his full height a grin on his face. "Well, I did." I reply, taking my champagne back from him. The grin on his face drops and is replaced with disappointment and then suspicion.

"What do you mean?"

I shrug, "Its taken care of." I tell him, simply. I was on the pill while we were together. I didn't see a reason to stop taking it. I started taking it when we were together, partly because of him, but also it helps with my cramps and regulates my cycle.

"You're still on the pill?"

I nod. "Yes, wishful thinking." I say. I see his sly smile, he thinks I'm talking about us getting back together. I add, ''I always figured I'd meet someone else. I wanted to be ready."

I see the smugness leave his face and its beyond gratifying, it's almost euphoric. I take another sip of champagne as he processes my comment. "Liar." He grins, knowingly. He takes my hand in his as he guides me around the room.

By the time we hear congratulations for a third time I want to scream. Lucky for me they're seating guests for dinner and for now that is everyone's focus.

We near our table, I see the Sterlings and some faces I don't recognize. We pass Eva and Ruxin at another table, I instantly want to go sit with them. "Stop, sulking." Xavier orders, as he pulls out my chair. I haven't said a word to him since he called me a liar. Not that I'm mad that he called me one, but I just don't know who he is anymore. He is accepting congratulations and smiling as he does it. Its just beyond anything he's ever done, sure he's always been a tad possessive but not to this degree.

    I look away as he sits next to me concentrating on conversations at the table. He takes my hand from my lap, and holds it on his. "Talk to me." He begs, pulling me close. I look up at him.

"Want to tell me what to say too?" I question, not amused with his behavior tonight.

He shakes his head, "No, but I would like for you to tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking I don't know who you are anymore. Thats what I'm thinking." I answer, completely honest. "You would've never done something like this to me. I used to have your respect." I point out, the hurt coming into my voice and I take a drink of water to clear it.

"I do respect you and you know me better than anyone." He responds, squeezing my hand gently.

"No, I don't. You've changed." I accuse.

"I've gotten older, maybe not wiser. I shouldn't have done what I did, but if you want to know the truth, I'm not sorry." I look away too angry to have this conversation right now. "No, look at me." He demands. I turn back to him and he leans in closer. "When I think about the time we wasted being apart, all I can think of is the disappointment. I don't want to spend a moment without you in my life, from today on. You may think I'm is rushing into this but you and I both know where we are going to end up. People don't change, Pip."

I glance back to the couples at the table, everyone seems oblivious to us. I don't know if I agree with him and I certainly don't know how to respond to him and his statements about our past and our future. Yes, I can say that I would want to end up with him. Its just that I wasn't given a choice, I wasn't courted and he certainly didn't care about my feelings. Thats not okay with me, he was only thinking of himself, that much is clear.

    He wants me to respond to him, he wants me to understand him and his actions. I just cant. No matter what I say, it won't be enough to wake him up. So, I wait to be served, sitting quietly and answer any questions addressed to me politely. By the end of the meal, I can feel the tension from Xavier. By the time the auction and fundraising is over he is visibly agitated. We slip out of the front door and to the awaiting car. When his door closes I feel the immediate change in atmosphere. "I've been patient long enough. Talk to me, Pip."

"I haven't talked to you, because I honestly don't even know what to say. Anything I do say, we wont agree on."

"Like what?"

"Xavier. I don't want to be engaged to you. Does that matter to you at all?" I question, upset.

Its dark in the back of the car but I know he's looking at me. "Why?"

I throw my hands up in frustration. "Take your pick, Xavier. We just got back together, I'm not ready, you didn't even ask, but above all I feel manipulated."

"I didn't mean to make you feel manipulated." He tries to assure me.

"You slid an engagement ring onto my hand minutes before we have to go in front of the press, your family and friends.
How was I supposed to feel exactly?" I inquire, sarcastically.

He shifts in his seat. "I would've hope as happy as I am to marry you."

"If you would've done this the right way, maybe I would be feeling differently. I just can't condone what you did." The
silence in the car is deafening. I look out of the window, watching the scenery pass.

"I understand." He states, after a few minutes. "I'd never want to make you feel anything but happy."

"Thank you." I reply, feeling his honestly.

"I just cant think straight where you're concerned. When I'm not with you, all I do is think about being with you. And when I'm with you all I want to do is hold you, touch you. Last night I couldn't sleep, the thought of us starting a family was so exciting for me. Being with you again, its not like starting over for me, its just picking up where we left off."