If the Sun Has Faded Away (UNDER REWRITING)

Chapter 17: Wounded

Hello beautiful people

I didn't even realise that the last chapter I gve you was almost two months back.

I'm sorry for this loooong waiting.  I honestly had a hard time trying to figure out wht should the next chapter be. 

I hope you're still willing to read this story.

If you're still giving it a reading, here is the latest chapter.

I hope you'll find it at least decent and that you'll enjoy it.

Thank you for your love, for your appreciation and for your feedback.

★★★★  

John's face still bore the streaks of his tears, faint marks of the pain he had wiped away only moments ago. He lifted his hand to the corner of his eye, brushing away another tear threatening to fall.

"How do I look?" he asked, finally meeting my gaze. His eyes, which had been glued to the floor, now locked onto mine.

His voice was rough, hoarse from the uncontrollable sobs that had overtaken him for the past half hour.

"Terrific," I tried to smile, but the effort fell flat, my heart too heavy to muster any real warmth.

It ached to see him like this—so broken.

"Thanks," John muttered, managing a weak smile before sniffling.

I quickly rummaged through my handbag, pulling out a tissue. "Here... take this."

He blew his nose quietly while I watched in silence. After a moment, he glanced up at me with a wry grin. "If you tell anyone you saw me cry, I'll kill you. Is that clear, Miss Thomas?"

There was a flicker of humor in his tone, but it felt strained, almost forced.

"Don't you think the boys have the right to know?" I asked softly.

"I don't want to worry them, Lucy. Especially Paul. Keep this between us, will you?"

I nodded, biting my lip. John's pride was at play, I knew that. He didn't want the others to see how deeply Barbara's betrayal had hurt him, how much it had bruised his spirit. His pride—his manhood—wouldn't allow it.

"Am I okay now?" John asked, his voice faltering. "The lads won't notice, right?"

I couldn't bring myself to respond. Instead, I tried for a smile, one that I hoped was reassuring, but I knew it fell short.

He caught my hesitation. His face darkened, and his next words were sharp, cutting through the fragile calm that had settled between us.

"Don't give me that look, Lucy. I don't need your pity, alright? Just because you were kind enough to let me cry on your shoulder doesn't mean you can look at me like I'm weak!" His voice rose. "I'm not weak, damn it!"

His outburst left me speechless for a moment. I stood frozen, unsure how to respond. Then, slowly, I stepped closer and placed my hand on his cheek. He flinched at first, startled by my touch, but his expression softened almost instantly.

"I'm sorry, Lucy..." His voice broke.

"You don't have to apologize. It's okay. Everything's going to be okay."

"No, it's not," John rasped. "The woman I love just told me she's pregnant... with another man's child. That should have been my child, Lucy. Mine!" His voice cracked in a raw, anguished cry.

The sheer weight of his pain hit me like a wave, and for a moment, I couldn't breathe. The anger and hurt in his eyes were overwhelming.

"John..." My voice wavered. "Do you really mean that?"

He stared at me in silence, his eyes searching mine, and the truth settled heavily between us.

Anger, sharp and sudden, surged through me. I couldn't believe it. He was thinking of going back to Barbara? After everything?

I grabbed the collar of his jacket, my voice trembling with fury. "Is that what you want, John? To go back to her? To raise another man's child as your own after she betrayed you?"

John's jaw clenched. "Why not? I love her. I could marry her, be the father of her baby. I'm strong enough."

His defiance stung. The man standing in front of me, so arrogant and cold, felt like a stranger. This wasn't the John I knew.

"For God's sake, John! She doesn't even respect you. You two just tore into each other. Stop lying to yourself. Stop lying to me." My voice was harsher than I intended, but I couldn't help it. The anger boiled over, uncontrollable.

"This isn't a game, Lucy," he snapped. "It's my life. Who are you to tell me what to do?"

His words hit me like a slap, leaving me breathless.

"You're right," I said, a bitter laugh escaping me. "Who am I to you?"

I could see how lost he was, how broken. Deep down, I knew his anger wasn't really aimed at me—it was at the betrayal, at Barbara. But it didn't make it any easier to swallow.

Exhaustion washed over me. I was too tired to argue anymore, too tired to fight for what I thought was right. If he wanted to go back to her, what could I do?

"Look, John," I said quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. "I know Barbara means the world to you. And if you want to go back to her... I won't stand in your way. But you deserve to be happy. Don't let her destroy that."

His eyes softened. "Lucy, I—"

"No, listen," I interrupted. "She didn't love you, John. She tried to change you, mold you into someone you're not. You said so yourself. And now she's having another man's child. Do you really believe she'll take you back?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off again. "If you think you can find happiness with her, then go. But don't do it out of guilt. Don't throw your life away on someone who doesn't see you."

I could feel the tears threatening to spill again, but I fought to keep them at bay.

John took my hands in his. "Lucy... I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. Please don't be angry with me. If I lose you too, I won't survive it."

His words, so raw and sincere, broke through the anger that had clouded my heart.

"You know I'm not going anywhere," I said softly, managing a small smile despite my own pain.

"Promise?"

"Promise," I whispered.

John's grip tightened, and I could see the vulnerability in his eyes. "I don't want to be controlled by this anger anymore, Lucy. It's ruining everything. Please... help me."

His trust in me was almost overwhelming, but I nodded. "I'll help you, John. But you have to want it for yourself."

"I do. I'm ready. I just... I need you with me."

"I'll be here," I said, the weight of the promise settling between us.

A faint smile touched his lips. "Thanks, Lucy. I don't know what I'd do without you."

For the first time in what felt like forever, John smiled—really smiled. And despite everything, it was good to see.