Moving ~ PHAN

Chapter 8

A/N: This paragraph has blood and self harm, don't read if your triggered, please stay safe.

*3 months later (they are still together)

Dan's POV

Every thought in my head instantly on. Every voice saying how easy it will be. It seems everything is happening all at once and yet I can't stop it. I want a break, but every time I grab hold of that long cold blade, all I can think of is Phil. I really love him, I do, but I just want things to end. I know, ending it all is the easy way out, but it's the only way out of this hellhole, the only way I can get some relief.

My life has changed since Phil and I have been together. A lot. For the better. But when these evil thoughts do come crawling back into my mind, they come back stronger than ever, more taunting.

I grab my phone and look over at the screen. "Monday February 27, 3:57 am."

I push myself out of bed and make my way to the bathroom as my head pounds. I open the medicine cabinet as it creaks and stop. Right there. Right there on the shelf, lays a blade. The light above reflects off of it, making it so prominent it seems to obvious. My hand trembles as it makes it way to it. I pick it up between my thumb and index finger. I feel the coldness. I hold out my right wrist. I look down at it.

"But.....Phil...."

I feel the warmth of my tears slide down my cheek.

"I love you Phil, I love you so so so much, I love you more than anything," is all I can hear in my head. This is what I said right before he left for holiday a week ago.

"Well I love you more Dan,"

"I doubt it."

I breathe in as much air as I can.

I feel coldness glide across my wrist. Warm, red blood starts pouring out. My blood stains the floor, the sink, my clothes, but I don't care. Instead I slash it again, and again, anger towards myself building up each slash that hits my wrist.

Every thought in my head feels like it's stabbing my brain. I can hardly breathe, my chest feels tight. My eyes feel heavy. My life feels like it's slipping away.

The last thing to run through my mind is Phil, right before my body loses all energy and I feel my head bang against the bathtub rim, the breathe I didn't know I was holding in falls out, and my body land in a pool of my own blood.   

********************************

Hey, so..... sorry. I know, I haven't updated in a while, but a lot of things have been happening. So since my last update, yesterday was my birthday, but it was really terrible, so I'd rather forget it was my birthday at all. 

Also schools being a bitch, I have to pick what courses I want to take next year and my mum's mad at me for no reason, so I feel like shit. 

I also really like this guy and can't find the nerve to tell him...

So yeah, just generally I've been feeling fucking shitty lately. 

So sorry about the short chapter, but also I'm working on a new story. So that's kinda exciting? Right?!

Anyway, byeee,

Stay safe

*hugs*

-K