Who Should I Choose?

Lonely, Confused, I Dont Know

Please tell me you have enjoyed my update. And please tell me your enjoying my book. I know I'm not the best writer but at least I'm trying to be.

But read alone its getting pretty heated.

Aliyah

After i found out all that shit about my so called family i just couldn't take it any more. I want to run a way from things but i cant. Soon i will be going to collage and I don't know what the hell i will be studying for. I don't know what i want any more. Its just too complicated.

Highschool is where we prepare for the next big stop in our lives as a teenager but trust me on this, the shit that goes on in my head each day as i think about what i have witness this weekend is just too much right now. I still cant shake the feeling of that bitch been my Sister, that bitch keeping my father from me this whole time, that bitch who I really really hate, that bitch that gets on my nerves each time i think about her. I can never get use to this.

Today is a day that i should worship god because there are so much i need to confess right now. When i started to act as a teenager i stopped all connections with god and became this devious child, not that I can change but at least i should thank him for giving me breath each day.

I was inside the church of god listening keenly to what the pastor is saying. Carly was at home i guess but i decided on coming here, when it come to my problems i don't want to talk to any one else but god. He know me better than any one so why not talk to him. The church is an hour and so when they called up for the young people i went to the altar and kneel.

I just want to get a way from things, far a way. After the service i got on my bike and head back to Carly's. As i step through the door i heard laughing and chatting. I suppose someone is over. The apartment is not that big but its spacious. I walk to the living room to see Ryder, Shawn and Carly, beers in there hands and chatting like there is no end.

As i approach them they recognize me and stop talking.

"Hey how was church?". Carly ask.

"Fine". I replied not really in a cheerful mood.

"Just fine".

"Yes just fine". I said yet again. I just want to go lay down. I am exhausted and trust me when I'm like this you don't want to mess with me.

I ignore her before she start to ask me more questions that i don't intend to answer. I went straight to the guess room and lay face down on my bed. I may have been a bitch but i still feel hurt when it comes to my fucked up family.

*********

My door cracks open and I lift my head to see who it was.

It was Ryder of course.

"Hey, am... are you okay?". He asked.

"Why do you care ?".

"Just curious, you know, don't want you to die in here without any one knowing". He says.

"What the fuck do you want?".

"Cant you be a little nice to me for once, at least i came to check up on you".