Lullabies (Jalex)

Oh, Calamity

*Jack’s POV*

*One year (and a month) later*

I walk to class alone, looking at the ground so that I don’t have to look anyone in the eye.  God I don’t even want to go to fucking class anymore today.  Dumb Bitch will be in math, talking about how in love with Alex she is.  We all know she is a whore and flirts with everyone anyways.  You know what, fuck it.  I’m just gonna go sit in a courtyard until I can go home.  I start walking toward the nearest courtyard, checking to make sure no one is around to see me.  Just a few students who don’t give a shit about what I do.  I open the door and stop when I hear something around the corner.  Someone’s playing guitar.  They start singing and my heart catches in my throat.  Alex.  I know that gorgeous voice anywhere.  I stay frozen to the spot and listen to what he’s singing.

“If I catch you on the corner, will you even know it's me?  Will I look familiar to ya?  Do you offer me a seat?  Can we find a new beginning?  Do you turn the other cheek?  Oh, calamity”  There’s so much emotion in his voice as he sings.  I know I should turn and leave, but I just can’t.  I keep listening even though I can feel that I’m about to cry.  “It’s such a shame that we play strangers.  No act to change what we’ve become.  Damn it’s such a shame that we play strangers.  No act to change what we’ve become.  Damn it’s such a shame that we built a wreck out of me.  Oh, calamity.  Oh, calamity.  Oh, calamity, come back to me…”  I can’t take it anymore and I wipe the tears from my eyes then step around the corner to look at him.  He looks up at me from where he’s sitting against the wall and his jaw drops.

“That was really good,” I manage to say.  He looks stunned that I even talked to him.  Hell, I’m stunned I talked to him.

“I...I wrote it about you.  God, Jack, I miss you.”  I just stare at him.  The first time I’ve actually looked at him in a year.  He looks like hell.  He’s pale with dark circles under his eyes.  He has definitely lost weight.  The sleeves of his hoodie are rolled up because it’s hot out and I can see that there are new cuts all over his arm.  Is this all because of her?  I just continue to stare at him as new tears form in my eyes.  He stands up and slowly takes a few steps toward me.  “Jack, say something.  Anything.  Please!  Please talk to me again.  I haven’t heard your voice in over a year.  Jack, please.”  I walk over to him and gently take his wrist.

“Why?”

“Why what?”  And now I’m angry with him.

“Why what?  Why do you look like you’ve been hit by a bus?  Why do you look like you haven’t slept in months?  Why are you with a slut who makes you feel like such shit?  Why haven’t you said a word to me for a year?  Why can’t you even look me in the eye?  Why are there cuts on your arm?  You promised me!  You promised you would stop!  But then again, you don’t keep any promises, do you?  You promised you’d never hurt me.  You promised you would love me forever.  Was I really that easy to throw away?”  Now he looks angry too.  What right does he have to be angry with me?

“I’m fucking sorry, ok?  She told me she would hurt you unless I left!  I couldn’t let anything happen to you because I loved you so fucking much.  I still do.  Oh god I still love you and it’s been driving me insane.  She hits me if I even react to hearing your name!  She treats me like absolute shit but if I threaten to leave, she threatens to do something horrible to you.  I’ve wanted to talk to you for so long but I can’t because she is fucking psychotic!  I’m so sorry I hurt you.  You weren’t that easy to let go.  That’s why I look like this.  I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.  That’s how guilty I feel.  I know I’m a terrible person.  Trust me, I know.  No one talks to me because of what I did to you, and I deserve it.  I couldn’t take being with her instead of you and so I turned back to cutting.  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry, Jack.  Please forgive me.  I can’t take another day of not talking to you.  I miss you.  I miss your smile, I miss your laugh, I miss watching Home Alone with you, I miss the way your eyes light up when you talk about music.  Please at least try to forgive me.”

“You didn’t have to leave me just because she said she would hurt me.  I would have taken anything she could give to stay with you.  You wanted to protect me from her, but losing you was the worst thing that could have happened.  I know you’re sorry.  I miss you too.  But I can’t forgive you.”  He turns away and I can hear him crying.  “I can’t forgive you because I don’t think I was ever really mad at you.  I was mad at her for taking you and I was mad at myself for letting you go.  Truth is, I haven’t stopped loving you.”  Suddenly he turns and wraps his arms around me tightly, burying his face in my chest.

“I’m so sorry, Jack.  I’m so so sorry.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.  I was so stupid.”

“Yes, you were stupid,” I laugh as I wrap my arms around him.  “Promise me something though.”

“Anything.”

“Promise me that you will never hurt yourself again, no matter what happens,” I whisper into his hair.

“I promise.  You have to promise me the same thing though.”

“Wha- how did you-”

“I saw them when you were waving your hands around yelling at me.  Never again though, alright?”

“I promise,” I say.  I hold him closer to me and rest my head on his.  “Hey, Lex?  I still love you.”

“I still love you too, Jacky.  Always have, always will.”  He squeezes me tighter.

“Well what are we going to do now?  Carrie isn’t going to be too happy.”  As soon as I say her name he tenses up and starts shaking a little.

“D-don’t let her hurt me anymore, Jack.”  He’s completely panicking and that just makes me hate her so much more.  What the fuck does she do to him to make him so scared at hearing her name?

“She will never touch you again, I swear.”  He calms down a little bit but he still seems worried.

“What’s going to happen?”  Good question.

“I don’t know.  But I’m taking you home right now.”

“But she’ll be waiting for me when class is over…”

“Give me your phone.  I’ll talk to her.”

“That’s not a good idea.  She’ll come find us and she’ll be super pissed at you.”

“Fine.  You text her when we get to my car and tell her you’re leaving school.  If she has a problem with it, then I’ll talk to her.”  He nods and picks up his guitar.  I grab his other hand and drag him to his locker, then to my car.  He puts his guitar in the back seat, then climbs in and pulls out his phone.  Almost as soon as he sends the text he gets one back from her.

“She’s fucking pissed.  Here, you deal with it.”  He hands me his phone and rests his head on my shoulder.  I look at the message she sent back to him.

“She calls you Al?”

“Yeah, and I fucking hate it.  Just reply to her and let’s go home.”  I read the message out loud as I type.

“Hello, Carrie.  I’m taking Alex home.  I found him in a courtyard today and we talked.  He told me some very unsettling things.  Just so you know, you will never ever hurt him again.  Understand?  Lay a finger on him, and I will snap it in half.  He doesn’t deserve your shit.  So if you could kindly get the hell out of all our lives, it would be much appreciated.  Thanks, bye. -Jack.  And send.”

“Now let’s go home.”  He turns on Take Off Your Pants and Jacket and grabs my hand as I pull out of the parking lot.

*A/N~ Yayy two chapters in two days. You're welcome. Do you think Jack and Alex are getting back together? If you were Jack, could you forgive him? I've had a serious lack of comments lately. Looooove meeeeeee. Haha just kidding. But comment and like tell me how to improve the story or what you think should happen.