Time Will Tell

Chapter Seven

     "Light!"
     "Matsuda," I say as I flash my badge and walk onto the scene, "What the hell is wrong with you!"
     "What?" He asks.
      "Misa," I tell him, "You're supposed to protect her!"
     "Why do you care all of a sudden?" He snaps.
     "Because I need a team that is willing to go the distance for justice, not a team that leaves others behind!" I shout. "Where is she?"
     "They haven't found her yet, Light," he says, completely defeated at this point.
     "Light," I hear through my earpiece. "Take it easy. We'll find Misa."
     I connect to his feed, saying, "I know, babe. I'm just frustrated."
     "I understand, but you need to focus," Ryuzaki tells me. "Don't get too aggressive with Matsuda or we'll lose his assistance completely."
"Okay, okay," I say, watching Matsuda from the corner of my eye.
I make a mental note of the sleek black helicopter over our heads as I turn back toward Matsuda.
"How did you get separated from Misa?" I ask him after taking a breath and refocusing.
"When the shooter came into the restaurant, we were still waiting for a table. She might have ran out of the building, but I don't know where she would have gone from here if she had done that," he tells me. "She hasn't called or sent me a text."
After getting briefed by the acting lieutenant, I grab Matsuda by his collar and start our hunt for Misa. We've been given the go-ahead to investigate her disappearance and we're going to be looped into the shooting investigation as information comes into headquarters.
     While Matsuda and I run the search on foot, L will be scanning the city over our heads.
     "Ryuzaki," I say as I tap into my earpiece.
     "Yeah," he answers.
     Matsuda follows close behind me as I turn down an alley.
     "Go north of Point A," I tell him. "I've got a feeling she went north."
     "Understood," he says. "By the way, Light, I wanted to tell you something earlier before you left headquarters."
     I smile, "Yes, dear?"
     He's got to be blushing bright red right about now. How I'd love to see it...
     "I love it when the detective inside you shows on the outside," he tells me. "It's attractive."
     I smile to myself as I say, "Likewise, Ryuzaki."
     He laughs, "Alright, Light. Go find Misa."
     "I love you," I tell him, "Stay safe."
     "I'll be tuned into your feed as well as all others, so there's no need to worry about me," he says. "I love you."
     I go back to work. Matsuda chatters away about where Misa could be while we scan the streets. I try to filter out his rambling, but after a certain point, I give up on ignoring him.
     After a few minutes of listening, Matsuda finally talks directly to me, saying, "Hey, Light, can I ask you something?"
     Shit.
     "What is it?" I ask.
     "Can you be honest with me?" He asks.
Yes.
     "About?" I say.
     We stop on the corner of the street we've been walking along as he says, "Why didn't you break up with Misa before proposing to her?"
     "What do you mean...?" I ask hesitantly.
     He sighs, saying, "She said that about six months before proposing to her, you'd leave her house early, telling her you were going to work."
     "...and...?" I ask.
     "She said you we're seeing Ryuzaki behind her back," he says.
     Fuck. I can't lie to Matsuda anymore than I already have.
     "...I was," I tell him.
     "So why didn't you break up with her?" He asks.
     "I was still unsure of how I felt toward Ryuzaki," I say quietly. "I thought that maybe if I did something like propose to Misa, it would put my mind back in that perspective. But, it only made me feel more conflicted."
     "What made you decide?" He asks.
     "Ryuzaki did, somehow," I tell him. "Misa was in a different country filming a new movie, I was alone at home drinking myself to sleep, Ryuzaki had invited me over to talk, and I couldn't find it in me to say no to him. When he saw me come in, he nearly killed me he punched me so hard." I laugh at the absurdity of it before going on. "I was drunk off my ass and I deserved it, but I sobered up immediately after my head hit the floor. After he helped my dumb ass off of the floor, and after he apologized half a million times, I kissed him." Matsuda gives me a weird look as I continue. "It wasn't like any other kisses before though. Whenever Misa would kiss me or I whenever I kissed her, I didn't feel anything. Previous kisses with Ryuzaki were the same too. But, that one particular kiss was different from the others."
"How could that kiss make you decide on him?" He asks me. "What was different?"
"I'm assuming you've kissed and been kissed before?" I ask.
He nods, "Yeah, so what?"
"Have they all felt the same?" I ask.
"I guess so," he says.
I smirk a bit, saying, "Have you kissed Misa yet?"
Matsuda blushes and says, "Not yet."
"Well, you'll know if she's different from the others you've kissed when you do," I tell him with a smile.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
"Of course," I say.
"So how does that kiss connect to the fact that you were seeing someone behind Misa's back, proposed to her, and then broke up with her only for her to find out that the person you had cheated on her with is your boyfriend?" He asks. "Why go through all of the trouble just to have the same outcome at the end? You could have told Misa. You could have saved yourself the trouble of proposing to her. You could have saved so much time."
     "You don't understand, do you?" I say to him. "It's not in black and white. None of it was until I actually broke things off with Misa. Everything leading up to that point was a gamble. It was difficult and exhausting living a double life like that. There isn't a rulebook for those kind of things, Matsuda."
     "I see," he says after a moment.
     "I thought she was the one, and I really tried for it, but something changed. So, whenever you kiss Misa, you'll know if she's the one even if it's not the first kiss," I tell him. "If anything is to be gained from this conversation, it's that fact." He nods as I go on. "Now, let's get back to work. I understand that you're angry with me for leaving Misa so broken-hearted, but it doesn't matter anymore. She's your girlfriend."
After mumbling something to himself, Matsuda starts following my lead again.
We have to find Misa.