Stefan, I Love You

30. Kristen's Diary

Dear Diary,

I know I just started this whole vampire thing but, Im not good.

I know it takes time. It took Stefan over 100 years. Heck, he still is struggling. The whole non-human-blood diet? I'm not going to eat innocent rabbits but I don't want to eat innocent people.

Maybe the bloodbags will work. I'll just have to contain myself.

Why did I have to die. Why did I have to turn. This kind of fairytale crap belongs in scary movies. Haunted houses.

Why this world.

I want my mom back. Maybe she would know. She could help. But then again, she's dead too. Just not, well, alive-dead.

I don't even know how to interpret this.
I don't know what to do with myself.

I wish I wasn't a vampire.
I wish I didn't come back.
I wish I was with my mom and dad.
Peacefully gone.
Peacefully dead.
Like in a coffin dead in the ground DEAD.

Screw this vampire thing.