Chapter Seven

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by writtenlarry

by writtenlarry

A week had past and Louis had actually finished reading Harry's diary. He finished reading a 4 years work in a week! That was a lot more then he have ever read in his entire life.

Through reading it Louis saw things clearer. And was fascinated by the way Harry saw things. Louis learned about himself a lot of things he didn't see that Harry did. He learn many also about Harry. Louis felt bad for reading it because many of it was private but he also felt better knowing things about Harry he had been blind to see. And that's what Louis was. Louis was completely blind. Oblivious. Louis had never paid attention to all the signs. And maybe if he had this wouldn't have happened.

He hurt Harry. Not once or twice not even three times. Louis had hurt Harry countless of times. All because of his stubborness. And that's what Louis was. He was fucking stubborn.

Louis knew for sure what he felt for Harry now. Yet he still wouldn't admit it.

He didn't want to admit it.

Yet he loved Harry so much! He always did but he has always tried to deny it. Everyone knew how much he loved Harry. Even the fans yet his stubborness always got the best of him. And he hurt Harry along the way.

But who wouldn't deny it?

Isn't loving a guy when you are a guy WRONG?

And being gay?

That just seemed so weird to Louis.

And how can he be gay when he is marrying a girl?

How is he gay when he has had sex with girls and liked it?

It just didn't make sense.

Bi?

Yet he knew he loved Harry. He knew he wanted Harry. He knew it but it was still hard for him to admit it.

How was he suppose to admit it to people when he couldnt even admit it to himself?

He hadn't seen Eleanor since the bar accident. He tried calling her and texting her but she never replied so he stopped. He understood that she needed time to uh think. He had been ditching her for so long now it was time for her to get revange. Tho he wished he could talk to her. Sober. The things that she told him the other day really bothered Louis. It bothered him that it seemed that she knew something he didn't! It made no sense. But she was drunk so he tried contacting her while she was sober but she never replied.

How come everyone else saw or knew that Louis wasn't hetero yet Louis still didn't seem to see it or more like admit it?

Louis had gone to see Harry as much as he could at the hospital. Harry still was in coma. But during the week the doctors had said that he wasn't in critical condition anymore that he seems to get better. Yet the doctors weren't so sure since Harry had hit his head pretty hard. It made Louis mad knowing the doctors being doctors didn't know what Harry's exact condition was.

Louis tried visiting him regularly but evertime he did go Gemma seemed to stare at him. Louis didn't understand at first but now he did. Gemma knew how much Harry loved Louis. Gemma knew about all the countless times Lou hurt her brother. She knew. And she most likely blamed him for the accident. But so did Louis. Louis blamed himself for what was happening to Harry. Because after all it was his fault.