Broken // Zayn

Chapter Twenty One

21:

Zayn and I were sitting on my bed while the large television in front of us was on some show called Modern Family. Checkers was placed in front of us and I was the red. I was pretty sure I was winning at this point. I had four of his black pieces collected while he only had two of mine. "Ooh, you really caught me in a sticky situation." I told him, referring to two of my circles that would be captured if I moved them anywhere. "But I think I'll go with this one." I jumped one and put it in my pile.

"How are you so good at this?" he asked me, moving another one in a terrible place.

"I think you're just super bad." I laughed, moving mine again. "Your turn."

The game was just us going around everywhere without any jumps or anything. Then he asked, "When you told me that you didn't believe in love," that made me look up at him, "was that just an excuse?"

"No, I really don't believe in love. I find it pointless to even try." I answered. Honestly, I'd rather just be single my whole life.

"What's pointless? Marriage?"

"Marriage, dating, boyfriends, just love in general." I shrugged. "Why would I make that up?"

"To spare my feelings." Zayn moved a checker.

"King me." I grinned, moving to the opposite side of the board. "Anyways, I was being totally honest. I'm just not looking for a boyfriend at the moment. Sorry." I didn't know how many times I had to say sorry to make the situation less awkward.

"It's okay. I just still thought it was weird that someone didn't believe in love. I don't know." he looked at the board again. "Double jump." Zayn moved his piece over two of my red ones.

"How is it weird?" I tightened my ponytail and leaned back in the bed a little bit. It was about ten o'clock at night now and I'm feeling a little tired. "It's just a personal decision."

"I'm not insulting you. I've just never met anyone who didn't dream of getting married or anything. It's like when you find out that someone hates your favorite singer. You just find it impossible to think that."

I moved the red piece backwards. "It's very likely to think what I think when you've seen and been through what I've seen and been through." I put down the little piece that I was holding. "Why did you ask me that? I can already sense an argument brewing and I don't want to fight."

"I wanted to know if you really didn't like the idea of love or if you just didn't like the idea of us. Get it?" he told me and I nodded. "I really am sorry, but I can't get you out of my head." Oh, not this again. I like having friends, not boyfriends. Having a boyfriend would ruin everything. "I just keep hoping that you'd like me the way I like you but you just want nothing to do with love."

"Please--"

"No, let me finish." he cut me off. "I really have strong feelings towards you and I want us to work. Maybe if you gave us one chance, one date, you might have a different opinion on love."

Zayn stopped and I assumed this was my cue to go. I cleared my throat. "I think you should try and...move on." I saw the pain on his face and that was exactly what I didn't want to see. "Really, I'm so sorry, but I was serious when I said that I don't want a boyfriend right now. I honestly think the best thing to do is move on from me. We're better off just as good friends. I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship."

"Okay." he shifted. "I understand." Zayn nodded. We looked down at the board simultaneously and it was my turn. Both of us had only one circle left and they were right next to each other. "You win." he said to me. Soon after, he told me that he was tired and left.