chapter eight

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chapter eight

ethel

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BEADS OF SWEAT hung damply across my skin, my eyes flicking downwards to keep away from the Sun. I crossed my legs, sitting on a chair in the lobby, watching the boys work on the rickshaw outside. The lobby was tall and wide, with many windows that almost let in too much light.

I've been feeling very unsure lately. Last night shouldn't have been a big deal, but somehow it just crashed and burned and now I was uncertain of what could happen next. I loved the poor guy, he just needed a lot of guidance, and attention. And, I don't think I'd be the right person to lend a hand in the situation.

But I really did love Louis. He had this look in his eyes that I adored. It was just great knowing him. And, despite what I thought last afternoon, he did actually like me a smudge back. Heck, he didn't say it, but the way he acted, he was scared of losing something; me.

I felt horrible saying that he cared about me, but I guess it was true. But even more true was that I cared about him.

"Hey, Ethel." Rosa sat down beside me, Cailin coming at my other side. "We, um, heard you guys last night. Uh." She swallowed, not exactly acting like her usual fiery natured persona. I brought my gaze down to my feet, picking at a stray thread on the couch.

"So? Is there a problem?" I asked, voice rushed in a plead.

"Exactly, is there a problem? What's your deal with Louis?" Cailin raised her voice, crossing her arms. For the first time speaking to me, it probably wasn't the nicest first impression.

"No, there isn't a problem. And there is no deal, a deal is definitely not the word your looking for. Circumstances is more like it." I mumbled, "And our circumstances are good, so, there's nothing wrong." I spoke too quickly, not a good thing, not good at all.

"Really? Don't lie, Ethel?"

"Yeah, just tell us, okay? We won't tell him, promise?"

I closed my eyes, breathing in, frustrated.

"There is nothing to tell you, because there is nothing wrong. Besides, why would I talk to you about Louis?" I grunted, my eyes still strapped to stare at my feet.

"Well, who would you speak to Louis about then?" Cailin pressed. I felt pressure building inside of me, waving off in anxiety in my body.

"Louis." I snapped, getting up. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally. I wished I could just keep things between myself, and sometimes Louis. But, it simply couldn't be. There would always be someone there, ears open, listening to my every word. It was exasperating.

I decided then I wasn't having a good day.

I also came to the conclusion that I didn't really like Rosa or Cailin.

It wasn't there fault, they were both sweethearts. I, horribly, thought isolating myself as far as possible from people who put me under heated situations would solve all of my problems.

"Oh, Ethel, could you help me out here?"

I barely realized I had stormed outside, standing in front of a sweating Liam, who was underneath the raised rickshaw. I nodded, a little taken off guard.

"Great. Can you get me that wrench on the curb?"

I did as he told me, crouching down to hand him the tool. He thanked me, continuing to work. I sat back down where the wrench had been, watching the six guys mess around with the rickshaw. Louis, actually, just stood there, looking around the makeshift body shop.

When he saw me, he sat down, elbows resting on his knees.

"Something wrong, love?"

"No! Goodness, am I frowning or something?"

"Actually, you are. And, your quite pale, are you sick?" He asked, looking in the opposite direction of me, sighing.

"No, but I've just been interrogated by Rosa and Cailin."

"Aw, what about?"

"Us, last night." I mumbled, holding my temple in my thumb.

"Oh." He whispered, looking over at me, "well, that's kind of noisy, now is it?"

"Yes, quite really!" I sighed, laying down on the hot pavement. I heard scuffs on the ground, craning my neck to see him laying beside me, smiling.

"Oh well, fuck it." He laughed, folding his arms on his stomach.

"Right. Fuck it."

I swallowed back a hard feeling. It was true really though. The only person I wanted to talk about Louis was Louis. I wanted to tell him exactly how I saw him. He was a beautiful, amazing person. And I cared. I cared so much about him. I was proud, too. Proud that he was more of than just the shell he said he felt like on that lazy first night in Africa.

But, at the same time, I was disappointed in myself. I couldn't let these feelings run past my lips, something was force them back, like a noose around my neck. The grip on the rope just kept getting tighter, and I couldn't stand it one bit more. But I had to, there was no choice for me, nothing at all.

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woooooooaaaaaah ive updated this a lot. im really obsessed with this right now, and really its my baby. i love my baby ok. i also love louthel so yeah um bye. ps short chapters are my best idgaf what you think i can only express a certain amount of things in a certain amount of text so yeah???

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