No regrets

Chapter 2- Jared

MY HEART WAS STILL beating very fast as I entered my house after my daily run. I ran for one hour straight every day of the week, it's some kind of stress release technique, according to my therapist. She was right. When I'm running, I don't think about anything at all, I don't even listen to music. My mind literally goes blank, and yes, it is possible not to think about anything at all. But not today, today I couldn't do it, I couldn't stop thinking about this weekend. It would be pure torture, I still didn't understand why I was even going.

Because she asked you to.

Damn conscience, always reminding me of things I didn't want to admit to myself. But it was true, anything she asked me, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Yep, my man card? Long gone.

This weekend was going to be a constant reminder of what I couldn't have, and worst of all, I was going to have to put out with that asshole and more asshole of a friend. They were keen on reminding me that they were better than me in every single way. Better looking, richer. Yes, definitely richer, and they didn't miss the chance to let me now that I didn't belong. So, I was pretty sure they were going to spend all weekend making "jokes" about it. Some were subtle comments that only I could understand, other ones... no so subtle, but they couldn't care less. And honestly, neither could I.

I'm damn proud of being part of a family that works their ass off, even me, I work four times a week and the weekends, while still maintaining a 4.0 average at school, so I can keep my scholarship, because unlike them, everything is not handed to me, and I don't have a huge trust found waiting for me the minute I turn eighteen. So yeah, I was proud of my family and I was proud of myself.

I heard an unexpected sound coming from upstairs when I was in the kitchen pouring myself a glass of cold water. Then I realized it was the sound of my guitar. Anger filled my body. I was going to kill my little sister, she always did this, touch my staff, enter my room without permission, she didn't believe in privacy apparently.

When I was about to enter my room, I found myself hearing a sound that didn't sound like a dying cat, the way it usually sounded when my eight-year-old sister "played it". And then I heard it. Her voice. It was without a doubt, her sweet voice. I was going to open the door, but I decided it was better to wait for her to finish the song, I could never get tired of hearing her voice, she was so good, even when she wasn't even trying.

"What you doing?" My sister asked me from her bedroom door. I turned to find a confused little blond girl, waiting for an answer.

"Em, nothing I was just going inside my room..." I said like it was obvious.

"Yeah right, you've been standing there for two whole minutes, I counted." She said touching the watch on her wrist. Busted. "Is it wrong I let Aly in? She said she would wait in your room, I thought it was okay, she always stays in your room." She asked.

"No, no that's fine." I assured her.

"Why can she be allowed in your room, you said girls couldn't enter your room because it was a man's room." She looked angry now, yeah, she was getting older, and those kinds of excuses weren't working anymore, she demanded real explanations.

"A man's room, huh?" Aly said when she opened the room. And I froze, every time I looked at her I froze, she was so fucking beautiful. Fuck, I needed to get this under control.

She is just your best friend, only your friend. She has a boyfriend.

"Oh yes, very manly." I joked.

Aly and my sister laughed. Kind of true though. My room was not covered on posters of naked chicks or cars. I didn't owned a play station or an x-box, shit, I didn't even have a tv. Instead, my room was filled with old records, a record player, my guitar, and my keyboard, that was it. Clearly, music was all I cared about.