- Hi guys, started president François Hollande. As Daesh is on our back, I thought a little chilling party could be good for us. I asked Magic System to come and perform but when they learned Mister Poutine was in France, they went back in their country, I don't understand why. The only one available was Maître Gomme...
An assistant came and cut François' speech to whisper him something to his ears. His face lighted up and he coughed a bit.
- Maître Gims I mean !
He went down the little stage the Elysée installed in a big room for this event. A dark man, with dark glasses and a dark beard came on stage. He also had a dark cap on his dark skull.
- Elysée make some nooooooise!
Angela looked at François and mimicked with her lips "I would have preferred M. Pokora".
- Well, with all those events which passed coupé décalé, Mister François invited me for...
Barack didn't listen. His ears were turned to his greatest "enemy".
- On my mother's life, I'll fuck the Islamic state with my nuclear bomb, they'll stop kalachnikov us those bastards!
Barack fell in love with Vlad at the moment he said these words. He couldn't say if it was his way of speaking, which was strong and hard, or his rage in his eyes which made him crazy about him.
- And if they want to hit back, I'll go myself in Syria to burst them, those dogs.
Barack admires the way he measured the ton of his voice so much, nobody heard him except his faithful dogs aka his Russians slaves.
The American president focused on this dark man with dark glasses. He already saw him in his country, he was certain.
- Est-ce que tu m'aimes, j'sais pas si je t'aime, he was singing.
Barack didn't talk French, he never studied it, he only could say "je veux pipi" but he recognized himself in those words. Vlad and him always shew a strong hate between them, but was it really hate? Maybe Vlad loved him? But does Barack love him?
Barack was the only one listening to Maître Gims. Every politic delegate was way too busy: Vlad was trying to verbally consummate his assistant because he told him François wanted M. Pokora, François... but, where's François? And where's Manuel? Probably on a meeting.
- I hope you liked this song ladies and gentlemen presidents. The next song is a cover from an artist who really marked me...
- Look Angela, my country and your country didn't have an easy story, started Vlad, I don't want to start a war, but if you just could stop pissing me off with your gay marriage story, that would be great.
- What are you talking about? I just wanted you to take me to Moscow's Bolshoi.
- I said no, and no about the gay marriage, he turned to his assistant. And, Dimitri, why is the colored man singing a Justin Bieber song?
- What do you mean?
Later, still in the Elysée.
- Hello Michelle, yeah, it's Barack... No, not your cousin Barack, your husband Barack... Not your sister's husband, yours!
Barack's name was common in Obama's family.
- No Michelle, I can't call Beyoncé and Rihanna to invite them to take tea with you. Haven't you some other things to do like taking care of our two daughters? Look, anyway, I wasn't calling about that, did my press manager, James called?
Barack was in Elysée's corridor to make an important call it wasn't really but he had enough about Maître Crayon.
- James decided to leave us to work at McDonald's?
- American people, those obese guys!
Barack froze. He recognized that melodious voice full of hate and repugnance.
- If I were you Barack, I'll put them all in gulags. Work will make them loose their fat mass.
- I'll call you back Michelle, he tidied his pink IPhone 6S signed by Selena Gomez in his suit's pocket. Mister Vlad, can I help you?
He was doing the serious guy, but he has a big envy to screw up, maybe because of the soviet effect.
- Americans, you'll never understand Russian intelligence, he laughed and then he continued, I'd like you to say to the Femen's American ambassador to put some clothes on her.
- We have a Femen's ambassador, asked Barack, surprised.
- Yeah, the... Hannah Montana girl.
- You men Miley Cyrus? Oh no, she's not working with the Femen, She just wants to be more aired and then, take less shower, he explained slowly.
- She was in front of the Elysée this morning, I saw her through the windows when I was taking my breakfast. I'd prefer she shew me some sausages or bacon instead of her attributes. Thank god, homosexuals didn't have the same idea.
- Oh Vlad, laughed Barack, a bit forced.
- At least, you Americans have some sense of humor, I can agree on that.
Vlad started laughing with his slaves. Barack took the opportunity to imagine his head on his shoulder, and their hands enlacing, laughing about anything and everything.
- I'll leave you with this. I'm going to the bathroom. And you know what Barack, he inclined to the American's ear, my men and I, we'll bump terrorists off to the bathroom.
He laughed lower than Cruella in the 101 Dalmatians before he left.
- I leave you American bastard.
He gave him a nickname, how cute. Barack's eyes were shining of happiness.
- I mark it, we should do the same with our anti-terrorist squad but we already have a lot of work with all those Canadian singers stealing us the first place in the American musical charts.
I was talking alone because Vlad left a long time ago.
Barack was going back in the room when he saw François going out of a room. He was readjusting his glasses and his cheeks were red.
- Hi François !
- Bariza Bariza !
- Excuse me ?
- Oh, sorry mixed you up with the Comoros' ambassador.
Barack saw a little man with dark hairs and a witch face going out of the same room.
- But, what were you doing with this man?
François turned back like a barbapapa and the little hairs he had bristled.
- Barack, it's my Prime Minister, Manuel!
- Don't know, goodbye.
And then Barack went back in the little concert hall where other dark men with dark caps and dark glasses were on stage.
- Yo guys, I couldn't come without my bros from Sexion D'Assaut! Unfortunately, Black M screwed up when I told him Mister Poutine...
Why does most people screwed up when Vlad was mentioned in a conversation or when he was in a room?
Angela, the German Chancellor was completely drunk.
- Naked! Naked!
Barack was sitting to his presidential table, his head on his palm and his eyes were dreaming. He was dreaming of a life without nuclear bomb and without terrorists, Vlad and he would have a wonderful life.
YOU ARE READING
Poubama, love's stronger than war
Humor"- On my mother's life, I'll fuck the Islamic state with my nuclear bomb, they'll stop kalachnikov us those bastards! Barack fell in love with Vlad at the moment he said these words. He couldn't say if it was his way of speaking, which was strong an...
