- Cock-a-doodle doo! Cock-a-doodle doo!
What the fuck is a rooster doing in the Elysée?
That's what Vlad thought when he woke up in his presidential – not presidential – suit as in the Elysée, the presidential suit is for the French president but Vlad is also a president so he should have a presidential suit. But is he in France? And what about the cat? Does he have a presidential suit?
Vlad was still in his terrorists-murder-thoughts when he felt a move beside him, in is presidential -not presidential- bed as Vlad is not the French president.
- Whoever you are, get out of your hideout or I'll fuck your mom!
A dark man with dark eyes got his head out of the blanket. Phew he's not Maître Feuille – thought Vlad.
- Bariza!
- Why the hell does everybody mix me up with the ambassador from the Comores?
- Barack?
- Vlad?
Barack jumped out of the bed without realizing he only wore a dark boxer short.
- You've got 5 seconds to explain to me what you were doing in my bed before I'll call my guards to watch me kick you down!
Barack looked back on the night before. Let's say Vlad did the same, at the same time, with the same point of you because I'm so lazy I can't do both.
Flashback
Ok, I'm too lazy to do the flashback so Barack and Vlad got drunk and fucked. No, I'm not describing you the scene, go on Pornhub if you want to, it may exist actors who look like them.
End of the Flashback
- Starfallah – Barack screamed.
- A terrorist! Go in the bathroom so I can bump you off!
- But Vlad, Barack started softly and slowly, try to understand the situation. After the Cold War, don't you think we should warm up the atmosphere a little?
- What kind of shit are you saying Barack?
- Shh.
Barack came closer to Vlad, who was already dressed up, always ready to fuck some mothers. The man with the dark skin put his forefinger on his lover's mouth.
- After this night, you can't deny there's something between us.
Vlad, angry with Zeus' anger, tear Barack's finger off with his Russian tooth.
He spits the finger out which bounced on Barack's head so hard that made him fall on the bed again. Vlad, who's like an enraged vampire took a big inspiration and said:
- On my mother's life, you've gone too far this time. Me? Gay? It's like you'd say Staline, my idol, my model, my life, were, in fact, a democrat, he laughed ironically. It's official, I declare war to the USA, we're going to fuck you, even in the bathroom! The obesity rate will go down to 0% as we're liquidate them. You're making the intelligent one, you're telling me I'm a fairy, I'm going to reduce you to the void, I'm going to kill your dog, and I'm going to tell your wife you fucked François on his last visit in the USA.
- But...
- What are you thinking? In what world are you living? You think because we're youtubeuse we've got perfect lives? Wait, that's not my speech.
- Ok, go on, the American president offered calmly.
- Ok, I was saying, he goes on still mad, everybody knows what happened between you and François. Now he's fucking his Prime minister who want the Russian president? You're a crap, you can't have me, I'm so handsome, so charming, so intelligent!
Barack had tears in his eyes. The love of his life was standing in front of him, saying all those bad things. A war? He wanted to make war!
- Get out of my presidential – not presidential- room as the French president is François!
Barack took his presidential stuffs and his IPhone 6S signed by Selena Gomez and got out of the not presidential suit. He checked nobody was here before he put on his pants and his shirt. He was crying. He didn't know where to go and he lost a finger.
A door creaking in front of him got him out of his thoughts.
- Hey Madam Angela I didn't know Germans were that hot!
- Well Maître Propre, weights your words!
- My name's Maitre Gims Madam, but you even can call me Maitre Merde, I'll accept anything for you.
Barack was in front of them, still wiggling. He wanted to cough but then the couple started kissing passionately, he thought he may go. Especially Vlad could get out in the hallway too and if he'd see him, he'd fuck him. Well, last night, Barack was fucking Vlad...
A few days later, Vlad was back in Russia. At his arriving, people sang the new Russian hymn Ave Vlad. He missed Russia so much, operas, architecture, vodka, whore, everything was different there.
- Oh! My country, my homeland, Vlad exclaimed when he woke up in his majestic bed.
- You do think it's the moment to be happy?
Vlad turned to face the four-legged-animal. He was red, with a big nose and smelled badly. He was a warthog.
- But who are you? And why are you interrupting me while I'm sleeping?
YOU ARE READING
Poubama, love's stronger than war
Humor"- On my mother's life, I'll fuck the Islamic state with my nuclear bomb, they'll stop kalachnikov us those bastards! Barack fell in love with Vlad at the moment he said these words. He couldn't say if it was his way of speaking, which was strong an...
