A/N—Enjoy :)
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My eyes can’t move away from the screen. I can’t look away, but I want to. Mom tries to take me out of my fixation by waving her hand in front of my face. I don’t pay attention to it, I just keep staring at it, and when no words can come out, my body makes a grunting noise, as I come to full realization as to what happened.
“Josh? Josh? Are you ok?” My Mom starts to shake me to release me from my trance.
“Josh why are you so pale? Do you need to throw up?” My Dad joins in with the effort.
“I,” I stutter, “I think that’s...Madison...” I choke back tears. I may be a guy that seems like a person who has no emotion, but when something like this happens, who doesn’t want to cry?
My parents look up at the screen, and they start to glance back and forth between each other and the television screen. Their mouths open slightly in disbelief, and my mom starts to moan because she really liked Madison. Everyone did.
“Oh my god...that’s so, terrible,” my mom is starting to get very agitated now, “why would someone do such a horrible thing to someone so innocent?” Now she is the one who is choking back tears.
The thing that I can’t figure out about this whole disaster is how in the world I saw how she died, and that she did die, but that it was all in my dreams. Is this just a weird type of Déjà Vu? No, it can’t be. It was just too real.
It must have just been a weird version of Déjà Vu. It must have been, how else would I have seen that?
“Is it okay if I stay home today mom?” I ask her in a very monotone, depressed sounding voice that I have to force from my body. I have to move my eyes away from the screen. They are making me even more dejected from reality.
“You definitely can,” She gets up out of her seat, walks over to where my lifeless body sits, “I’m so sorry Josh, if there’s anything I can do, just ask. Okay?” She looks at me, expecting an answer. I just nod. She gives me a hug, and I hug back. It makes me feel safe, almost as if all of this is a dream, and I have been asleep the whole time. She releases the pressure of her arms and my body snaps back into reality.
My dad gets up too, and gives me a hug. It’s not as comforting as my mom’s, but it’s nice.
Getting up from my chair requires an enormous amount of energy that I have, but don’t want to use. But walking from the kitchen to my room demands even more then it took to get from my seat. It seems to take forever to walk down the hallway, but when I get to my room I crumple onto my bed and roll into my covers.
My memory starts to recall of the amazing moments I had with Madison. Its like a roll of film being unravelled: When we would play in the little plastic pool in my backyard when we were small children. When we would walk to the candy shop, and buy enough candy to last us months, she usually got her Turtles, and me my Nerds. But we would eat it in a day. Up to recent memories, like when our school held a senior high dance, and when me and Madison’s favorite song blasted from the speakers, we started dancing like we were absolutely insane. I thought about her and The memories flood into my mind like a freight train, and then I remembered Harry. He must be heart-broken. The pressure behind my eyes builds up.
No one can see my cry. It’s fine. I stop restraining the tension behind my eyes, and I begin to sob. Throwing my face into my pillow seems to dampen the noise a lot, so my parents can’t hear me. No one can hear me.
