Poems that mean something

Empty thoughts

I always assumed having a boyfriend would fix everything
I always thought the darkness would recede when he held me
I always hoped that the pain in my wrist would fade
But then those assumptions broke
Those thoughts consumed by darkness blacker than when I didn't have him
Those pains got more vivid
I didn't love him
Still don't but how can I just leave
Will it hurt him ?
Me?
I don't want to think about the pain anymore
I e been consumed for too long by the compressing darkness that is hate and sorrow
Sorry to say I only write when I'm in pain
Hoping to let the hurt flow through the keys onto the screen
Disappearing
Leaving my head forever
But it never lasts long
Even when he tried his hardest he couldn't fix me
I'm missing parts
I've been missing them for years so there's no hope of finding them
His biggest hugs couldn't make the darkness go away
His kind words and soft heart aren't enough to keep me from hurting myself
Nobody is
I guess it can stay like this
Broken , because I don't want new parts
In the dark, because it's all I know
With wrists that sting , because it reminds me I'm alive
I finally realized that others want what's " good " for me
But I don't want help
I don't want to change
But if I don't will I lose everything?
Yes