His parting words to me were beautifully bittersweet but that was before everything happened. Before they became so devastating that they tore my heart and soul apart, not ever to be mended again. He told me "You know I'll always love you, right, Va...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
They say there is a reason. They say that time will heal. But neither time nor reason can change the way I feel. Because no one knows the heartache that lies behind my smile. No one knows how many times I have broken down and cried. I want to tell you something, even though you are gone you're listening. I want to tell you so that there won't be any doubt. You are so wonderful to think of, but so hard to be without.
It hurts because when you were once here we were attached to each other as if we were one. One body, one heart, and one soul. But now that you are no longer here I'm missing a part of myself one that seems impossible to replace. So impossible it makes me wish that I could be gone too, just so that I could get rid of this gaping black hole that surrounds me. "We're here lil sis." Travis says as we pull in.
I take one look at my godmother's house and I make an immediate connection. Her two story house looks like me which is equivalent to looking like shit. Her yard is a mess filled with garbage and the lawn hasn't been mowed since who knows when. There's a bunch of flower pots strewn around her front porch, the flowers dry and dead. The house looks so run down as if it were abandoned. That's exactly how I look.
"Travis are you sure were at the right place beca--" I get cut off because just then my godmother Angela walks out the door walking towards the car. Travis and I both get out of the car to meet her.
"Travis, Vanessa how have you kids been doing." The words make me visibly flinch. How have I been doing? Hmmm really. She notices and immediately looks guilty. Travis goes to get my suitcase and I few boxes from the back of the car while Angela envelopes me into a hug. "Sweetheart I'm so glad you are spending some time with us. Mia will be thrilled to finally have someone around." Angela tells me. I respond with a terse nod.
We walk inside her house Travis behind us carrying all of my stuff. "Here is where you'll be staying Vanessa. And if you need anything Mia is right across the hall."
"I better get going I still have to go study for my exams tommorow." Travis tells us. Travis is in college studying to be a lawyer.
"Alright." my voice comes out small.
"Don't worry Vanessa I'll come see you soon since my college is only forty five minutes away." He hugs me and I bury my face in the crook of his neck. I'll miss him.
"Don't worry hun will take good care of her." Angela reassures Travis.
With one last hug Travis leaves. "Honey I'm real sorry but I have to get to work and my shift starts at two o'clock so I better get going. Remember Mia is next door I you need anything. Make yourself at home if you're hungry go help yourself at the kitchen." She kisses my cheek as she leaves.
I sigh closing the door of my new room. Everything is so foreign that I can't possibly see myself living here. That's good my conscience tells me, if it's not like you then there is less to hurt for the easier it is to forget. Easier to drop myself into another universe where nothing but darkness exists. Not you, not me, not him. Not anything.
