His parting words to me were beautifully bittersweet but that was before everything happened. Before they became so devastating that they tore my heart and soul apart, not ever to be mended again. He told me "You know I'll always love you, right, Va...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
What is life? Have you ever asked yourself that question?
Why life can only be understood backwards but must be lived forwards?
I've come to the conclusion that life is like the art of drawing without an eraser. Where the past cannot be erased. Where it cannot be forgotten.
What is life? That is the first thing that comes to my mind as I wake up. I get out of bed. Today will not be like yesterday. I will not mope around all day long. I put on some clothes and grab my running shoes. I stand by the mirror as I slip my hair into a perfect ponytail. At least that is one thing that is still the same, I still have a cheerleaders hair. My brown hair falls flawlessly down my back long and silky.
I try plastering a smile on my face. It falls immediately. The disappointment in my eyes reflected in the mirror. For the first time I see what everyone sees. The broken girl that they are afraid will shatter. For the first time I am afraid that they might be right. That once I stop falling I will hit the ground and shatter like glass not leaving anything behind but the darkness that engulfs me.
I run down the stairs grabbing an apple for breakfast only stopping to greet my godmother goodmorning. I close the front door taking two deep breaths before I let myself loose. I set my phone on the tracker that will tell me how many miles I ran and how many calories I burned.
I run. I run at a fast pace emptying out my thoughts. I focus on my breathing In and Out. In and Out. In and Out. In and Out.
The pain in my legs reminds me of the thrill of running. I used to always run. And now running brings back beautiful memories mostly of Travis. Me and my brother would always go out on runs together. Not like the rest of the people who instead went to the gym. Me and Travis would go running loosing track of where we were. Running not going anywhere but yet we went everywhere.
I don't know if I have been running long. But all I know is that it feels good. I run into the direction of a field. It's beautiful. I drop myself onto the grass. I look around only to realize I have no idea where I am. Fear hits me like a punch in the stomach. Calm down I tell myself, you couldn't have gone that far, right?
I check my phone and my eyes almost pop out when the damn thing says I ran 8 miles. I lay down completely down on the grass "Oh god how am I ever going to get back today?" I whisper to myself with my eyes closed.
What a sight I must be. A girl drenched in sweat laying by herself in the middle of an open field. I keep my eyes closed only listening to my breathing. In and Out. In and Out.
I'm falling again and there is no one here to stop me from being engulfed into the darkness for the sixth time.
I'm exhausted from losing a few tennis matches against Vivian. Kyle and Austin later came by asking if we would like to go kayaking with them. Vivian agreed to go immediately but I declined their invitation. I ignored Austin's look of sadness. My heart tugged at me to go. My heart longed for me to remember my past. But the past must wait.
