Worlds of Thought

Chapter 3

Daryl was happy, he had a bed to sleep in, real food ,he was surrounded by wonderful people who cared about him, and he loved hanging out with Paul so why did it... fluster? no, upset?... no no why did it bother him when paul had called him 'cute'? his first thought was that the man hanging in the tree had been making fun of him (and escaped when he had the chance), and maybe he had been but it was different from when him and Daryl usually push eachothers buttons. but that couldn't be it, Daryl thought as he paced around the attic of the Barrington house. he wasnt sure how he got here or even why he had gone up, maybe it was becuase he was so... bothered by pauls words he didn't feel like having to talk to anyone to open the gate so he could walk around the woods.

He walked out to the doors that led to a small balcony, and leaned on the rail, watching the people of hilltop below, it was a nice view. Daryl honestly didnt know why he felt so anxious and frazzled, he wasnt mad at paul, he just didnt know how to take a compliment. a zillion questions raced through his mind, but one stuck. paul had always been the friendly flirty type but, did he like daryl, like that?

Daryl shook his head, not knowing if it was rude to just assume that, just becuase paul was gay. But also becuase no one could love possibly see him like that. The only person who had ever said they had really loved daryl was Merle, and that was only a half assed brother love. He suddenly felt terrible, paul probably thought daryl was homophobic or something now. He ran his fingers through his greasy hair. fuck, why did he always have to run off when he was faced with, weird emotions? Hell he fought zombies day and night and he couldnt handle when one person calls him cute?

the sun started to go down and daryl realized just how long he'd been gone, and decided to head down to get some dinner before he went to bed.

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Paul sat with his head in his hands at maggie and sashas kitchen table. "oh god guys i didnt mean to scare him off i just told him he looked cute! on accident! i know how sensitive he is to this kind of stuff and..oh god what is he thinks im gross and im trying to hit on him?" paul spat out every if and or but to a very giggly sasha.

"jesus its fine he'll come around and act like nothing happned, hes good at avoiding things, plus if he was that mad at you or thought it was gross he would have pulled you down from that tree himself and knocked you into next week." maggie took his hands in hers, "Daryl trusts you and wont stop being your friend but if you want to try starting something you have to let him lead the...long, slow, awkward way." paul sighed.

"you're right, but no one even knows if hes, you know gay or not so what if im just, god i dont know sasha im so stupid what if he thinks this whole time ive just been trying to lead him on?" he huffed. Sasha just smiled, highly amused,"he'll come around dont you worry."

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Daryl made his way into the trailer and found that paul wasnt there. He shoved a granola bar in his mouth and headed to the shower, he was quite a greaseball and had only showered once since hes been at hilltop. maybe some cool water will help him clear his mind a bit so he can figure out how to apologize.
He watched the clear water turn brown form all the sweat and dirt, he was so messy and wondered how in the world did paul think HE was cute? paul was clean and neat and never smelled bad, but daryl? he was always covered in a thick layer of grime somehow.
Daryl stepped out of the shower and tied a towel around his waist, gathering his clothes and opeing the door.

And there paul stood, taking off one of his boots, he must have just gotten home. His eyes met daryls and he started to say something "hey daryl lis-" but he was cut off as daryl slammed the bathroom door shut by instinct. "ah um okay i'll uh, im going to my room i'll uuh, talk to you later." pauls muffled voice studdered from the ohter side of the door.Daryl heaved a heavy sigh and screamed at himself in his head, 'what the hell was that?'. Daryl peeked his head out of the bathroom and hurried to his room, changing into some battered cargo pants and a button down flannel without sleeves. He took out a pack of ciggaretes he'd been given as payment from one of the hilltop residents for fixing a leak in his roof.

He sat on the steps of the trailer, halfway finished with his ciggarette when the door opened, and paul plopped down next to him. "hey.."paul rubbed his hands on his thighs, hoping Daryl wouldnt take off again. "listen im sorry if what i said made you uncomfortable i just-"
"paul, shut up. you talk too damn much... 'ts fine, i should be sorry fer running and shit." daryl grumbled and glanced at the man next to him through the hair hiding his face. Paul only chuckled, "its okay. why dont we go get some dinner i havent eaten all day." he got up and streatched. daryl followed and tossed his cigarrete on the ground smashing it out with his foot.

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The two had fallen into a steady routine, every morning Daryl would wake up first and fidget around the trailer, skinning kill, sharpen knives, or simply screw around with his crossbow. He sometimes woke up to Paul passed out on the couch, book fallen on the floor (damn hippy bookworm), so he would cover paul up with a blanket and sneak out the front door.
After breakfast Paul would head to his shift at watch, or help Gregory and Maggie out. while Paul busied away, daryl would help aroud with the gardens or handy work or went out hunting. At noon, when Paul had a break, him and Daryl would walk around the perimeter of hilltop or hung out on the balcony off the attick of the barrington house. Sometimes they talked but most times they enjoyed the comfortable silence and each others company. But, Paul was a busy man, and worked on making up for the leadership that Gregory lacked, and what Maggie was unable to do because of the baby, but he always made time for him and daryl to hang out.

After lunch time they both headed back to work until it was dinner time. Occasionally they'd have dinner at Maggie and sashas. 'Its like they were attached at the hip or married or something, and Daryl had only been there for almost two weeks', Enid had said to sahsa once. she'd only laughed in response.

Paul had gone on a small run once while Daryl was there, and offered if Daryl wanted to join the group on the short run, but the onler man refused giving some silly excuse. He wasnt ready for all the hardcore fighting stuff quite yet, and didn't want to travel too far from the community. It was for the best though, because daryl was technically still on the run from Negan and his men.
Things were great, and Daryl was getting more comfortable.

But soon, most nights Daryl's nightmares were too intense and woke not only him but paul up too, much like tonight. He'd always break from his trance to find himself huddled in the corner, Paul's hands on his cheeks to bring him back to reality. Images of Glenn, Abraham, and negan flashed across his mind as paul helped him back to his bed, and covered him up. He sat at the edge of Daryl's bed, about to leave when a hand grabbed his wrist. "stay." Daryl spoke so quietly paul wasnt sure if he'd actually heard it. It was unlike daryl to actually want and ask for help himself.

So he did, he stayed. He laid on his back next to daryl, who was curled up, back facing Paul. Half asleep daryl realized he would never have asked rick to stay like he had paul. Rick was his best friend, his brother, who cared for him, so why had it seemed so odd that he could ask paul, a man hes known for such a short time, to stay here, with him, and woudlt ever think od asking rick?

Maybe it was a different kind of friendship, But daryl was much too exhausted to dig deeper..