The Devil Child

Chapter Forty-Five

 "So, what's the deal with you?"

Gryphon's voice was hard, angry, and had an edge to it. He stood outside, his body shaking as he shoved a cigarette in his mouth, inhaling the sweet nicotine that would calm him down. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, trying to remember what he was doing here. How he'd been sucked in to this strange and elaborate plan.

Orchestrated by a man who looked identical to Minny and had a strange girl by his side. He couldn't believe a thing that was happening to him, but how could he? His life had been a rollercoaster of confusion and hatred and pain.

Life hadn't screwed him over enough when he was sent to Tanner's camp, apparently. Because here he was, standing beside the very man he used to find attractive. The very man who turned him straight.

Something whispered, deep inside him, not true, not true, not true.

"I'm a horrible man, I know." Tanner's voice was resigned, because he knew this about himself. It was no surprise that he was the type of person that people hated. He knew he deserved to be locked up. He knew he was the nightmare fuel of plenty of people.

He thought back to his mother. His love for her was overwhelming. He thought back to Polly, and his desperation to make her love him, to save her from death. He had only wanted the best for her, and he had failed.

"Do you even remember me?" Gryphon turned to Tanner, his face twisted into something so angry, something so fierce, that Tanner had to stumble back. He had to think for a moment if he recognized the boy in front of him.

He did.

"You were in my camp," Tanner's voice was so sure of himself, so confident, "and you were healed. You're straight, now."

Not true, not true, not true!

"You fucked me over big time, do you know that? And the world has a wicked sense of humor because it put me here with you. I'm fighting with you, with Polly, with everyone who you've hurt. Do you even care?"

Tanner flinched from Gryphon's words, taking a step away from the angry boy. "Of course I do! You don't think it kills me to know my misguided sense of urgency to save people was the very thing that ruined them? You don't think I see Polly and hate myself every day because of it? I guarantee that I hate myself more than anyone else does."

Tanner reached into his pocket, his hands shaking and fumbling as he grabbed his wallet. It was a tiny slip of dark leather, and when he opened it, he slipped out a small picture. It was of his mother, smiling at the camera as though she didn't have a care in the world.

"My mother died when I was young. She was gay, and my father manipulated me into thinking that she died because of it. I was young, impressionable. But, I'm not a kid anymore. I can make my own decisions, and I can change my beliefs. I would do anything to see my mother again. Anything to see her kiss her girlfriend."

Tanner slipped the picture back in his wallet, his body shaking as he pulled another picture out. This one was of a small Polly, looking happy in the class photo. "This is of Polly when I first met her. God, I was in love with her. I wanted to save her, to protect her. Don't you think it fucking kills me to know that she doesn't smile like that anymore? Because of me? I've ruined her, and it's my own fucking fault, and I hate myself."

Tanner put the picture back in his wallet, and then he threw the slip of leather against the ground. It bounced back from the force of the throw, but Tanner didn't retrieve it. Instead, he crouched down low, low enough where he could bury his face in his bent knees, and he cried.